George Carlin: You Are All Diseased

Synopsis: Legendary comic Carlin comes back to the Beacon theater to angrily rant about airport security, germs, cigars, angels, children and parents, men, names, religion, god, advertising, Bill Jeff and minorities.
Director(s): Rocco Urbisci
  Nominated for 2 Primetime Emmys. Another 1 nomination.
65 min

but what exactly is

an unknown person?

Surely everyone is

known to someone.

In fact, just

this morning

Kareem and Ucef


seemed to know each

other quite well.

They kept joking about

which one of my suitcases

was the heaviest.

And that's another thing they

don't like at the airport,

jokes you know?

Yeah you can't

joke about a bomb.

Well why is it just jokes?

What about a riddle?

How about a limerick?

How about a

bomb anecdote?

You know no punch line

just a really cute story.

Or suppose you

intended the remark

not as a joke but

as an ironic musing.

Are they prepared to

make that distinction?

Why I think not.

And besides who's

to say what's funny.

Airport security

is a stupid idea,

it's a waste of money

and it's only there

for one reason,

to make white

people feel safe.

That's all, the illusion,

the feeling and

illusion of safety

cause the

authorities know

they can't make an

airplane completely safe.

Too many people

have access.

You'll notice the

drug smugglers

don't seem to have

a lot of trouble

getting there little

packages on board do they?

No and God bless them too.

Oh and by the way

an airplane flight shouldn't

be completely safe.

You need a little

danger in your life.

Take a fucking chance

once in a while will you?

What are you going to do

play with your prick for

another thirty years?

What are you going to

read People Magazine

and eat at Wendy's

till the end of time?

Take a fucking chance.

Besides even if

they made

all of the airplanes

completely safe

the terrorist

would simply

start bombing other

places that are crowded.

Porn shops,

crack houses,

titty bars

and gangbangs you know?

Entertainment venues.

The odds of you being

killed by a terrorist

are practically zero.

So I say relax and

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George Carlin

George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. He and his "seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 5–4 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves. He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics; one newspaper called Carlin "the dean of counterculture comedians". In April 2004, he placed second on the Comedy Central list of "Top 10 Comedians of US Audiences".The first of Carlin's 14 stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. From the late 1980s, Carlin's routines focused on sociocultural criticism of American society. He often commented on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture. He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975. His final HBO special, It's Bad for Ya, was filmed less than four months before his death. In 2008, he was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. In 2017, Rolling Stone magazine ranked him second (behind Richard Pryor) on its list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"George Carlin: You Are All Diseased" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 31 May 2020. <>.

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