George Carlin: Doin' It Again Page #2

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shuts up at the same time.

And only your voice,

can be heard.

Right, I know.

I know.

Well, what I'm going to do,

I'm going to have

my testicles laminated.

Life's little moments.

You ever been

talking to someone

and you laugh

through your nose

and blow a snot

on your shirt.

And you have to just

kind of keep talking,

you know,

and make believe

it's part of the design.

Works all right if you're

wearing a Hawaiian shirt,

but otherwise

they're going to notice.

Ed, you got a big

snot on your shirt.

Some guys are

really cruel, you know.

And some of these things

are not even your fault.

These little

things that happen,

you didn't cause

the situation,

a lot of time

you're the victim.

You walk into

some situation,

and suddenly you're the one

who's taking all the heat.

Not your fault.

Give you an example of

the kind of thing I mean.

Did you ever meet somebody

and you go to

shake the guy's hand

and you suddenly realize

he doesn't have

a complete hand?

And you got to make

believe it feels great,

Right, you can't go ahhhhhhhh,

ahhhhhhhh!

Ahhhhh!

You can't do that.

It's not even an option.

You got to hang

in there and say hi,

hey, swell hand.

Give me three.

Hi 3, yo!

Not your fault.

You didn't cause that.

You weren't even there

when it happened to the guy.

You were probably

out walking your dog,

which is what

I'm usually doing,

walking my dog.

Because I love my dog.

I love all my dogs.

I love every dog I ever had.

I remember them all,

and I love every one of them,

still love all my dogs.

And I've had me a

lot of God damn dogs.

In my lifetime I have had me

a bunch of different dogs.

Because you do keep getting

a new dog, don't you?

You just keep getting

one dog after another.

That's the whole

secret of life.

Life is a series of dogs.

It's true, you just keep

getting a new dog, don't you?

That's what's good about them,

they don't live too long.

And you can go get

a new God damn dog.

Sometimes you can get a dog

looks exactly like the dog

you used to have, right?

You shop around a little bit,

you can find a dog

identical to your former dog.

And that's real handy

because you don't

have to change

the pictures on your

mirror or anything,

right?

You just bring the dead

one into the pet shop,

throw him up

on the counter,

say give me

another one of them.

That was real good.

And they'll give

you a carbon copy

of your ex-God damn dog.

Now, my favorite dog

that I ever had in my

whole lifetime was Tippie.

Tippie was a good dog.

Some of you remember,

I've talked about Tippie.

Tippie was a good dog.

Tippie was a mixed terrier.

You know that word mixed

that the veterinarian

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