Garfield Page #2

think about it.

That's my food.

I may just nibble.

Thanks, Happy.

And thank you for joining us.

I'm Christopher Mello.

Remember...

Be happy.

- [Bell Rings]

- Okay, cut. Good.

- [Sneezing]

- [Man] We're clear.

Give me the Benadryl.

Give me the Benadryl.

Yeah! Yeah.

Yeah! Yeah.

Damned cat allergies.

[Sneezes]

Any word

from the network yet?

Uh, no, but they're looking for a dog act

on Good Day, New York.

Dog act!

Story of my life.

Looking for a dog,

and I'm stuck with a cat.

I thought the segment

went quite well.

[Whiny Voice]

"I thought the segment went quite well."

Of course it went well,

you toad!

The 50 housewives

who saw it, loved it.

This is WalterJ. Chapman

reporting live from The Hague.

Oh, please,

what a know-it-all!

...were met with angry crowds...

And everybody always said

I was the handsome one.

I was the smart one.

And I was born first.

But there you are

"live from The Hague"...

and here I am working with this sack of dander

on a dead-end regional morning show.

Back to you, Dan.

Back to you, Dan.

Garfield!

- [Moaning]

- Did you eat all four boxes of lasagna?

[Hiccups]

It's not my fault. They started it.

What am I gonna do

with you?

Love me. Feed me.

Never leave me.

Come on. Let's go for a ride

to someplace you love...

that always leaves you

feeling pampered and refreshed.

Huh? Oh, I know...

Chuck E. Cheese.

[Garfield]

Thank you.

No? Wendy's?

Taco Kitty? No?

Well, I'm stumped.

Maybe Olive Garden for you?

Hmm. The only time I ever leave my cul-de-sac

is when Jon takes me to the vet...

which he's been doing a lot recently,

and it appears to have nothing to do with me.

Jon must want to go

for his own reason.

Well, there's nothing wrong

with Garfield.

He's just a happy,

fat, lazy cat.

No need for

a second opinion.

- Well, I worry about him.

- I know you do.

Ooh!

[Giggles]

You know, you care about him more than

any owner I've ever known.

"Him" has a name.

Is this an H.M.O.?

Let's get Garfield in for his dip.

I wanna talk to you in private.

- Mm. Oh!

- She's so beautiful.

Uh, Mr. Pathetic, you've had a crush

on her since high school.

Would you please ask her out so she can

reject you, and we can get on with my life?

- I have to ask her out.

- [Groans]

- Wish me luck.

- Okay, go get 'em, big tiger.

You the man. You the fella.

You the boss.

You preach to her. Show her how

the cow eats the cabbage...

you hopeless loser.

Betty, today, why don't you start me off

with a Swedish massage...

a manicure

and a pedicure, okay?

Seaweed wrap, loofah...

belly rub, uh...

tail waxing and then

crack my toes to finish.

Rate this script:4.3 / 4 votes