Garden State Page #3

since you got knighted.

But I really

just stirred it.

Don't be modest.

Mr. Modesty won

the joust last night.

- Congratulations.

- It's not that big a deal. It's fixed.

What was it that happened

to you in high school?

You had a thing.

I forgot what it was.

- He got the sh*t kicked out of him.

- No, he didn't.

How do you know? He got the sh*t

kicked out of him by Tyrell Freedmen.

- I f***ed him up too.

- He knocked your teeth out.

He only chipped one tooth.

So, uh, w-what are you

up to now, Mark?

You're digging graves?

Mark's getting into

real estate.

- Tim can speak Klingon.

- What?

- No, I can't.

- Yes, you can.

- What the f*** is Klingon?

- Like the Star Trek guys?

- Yeah, he can speak their language.

- No, she's kidding.

No, I'm not.

Why are you being shy?

- Yeah, don't be shy, Tim.

- It's just... It's made-up.

This guy who plays the wizard

at work is a Trekkie. I don't...

- Don't be shy. Tell them

what you said to me last night.

- No.

Say what you said

to her last night.

You gotta be kidding me.

It means, "I like to

mate after battle."

- That's not what I said.

- Yeah.

No. No. That wasn't

the one I said.

This one means,

"Kill Kirk"...

and also "Hallelujah,"

depending on the context.

You must have got it

confused with, uh...

- Honey, that is good.

- You know what that means, Tim?

Well, I do. It means,

"Get the f*** out of my house...

before I chop

your f***ing head off."

Mark, he's a knight.

He's just a fast-food knight.

I should get going.

Thanks, uh,

for the cereal.

I had a lovely evening.

By the way, it says

"balls" on your face.

- A**hole.

- My mom did it.

In the spring...

the hungry gator must find

new and clever ways to find food.

Did you tell Large

about... the tapes?

No, Mom. I'm not doing

those stupid tapes.

- What are the tapes?

- Real estate tapes.

You can make up to

$100,000 your first year.

You should have seen the boat

this Oriental guy had.

He even had his own game show in China,

he had so much money.

I think Mark would be

perfect at it.

Ma, shut up about those f***in' tapes.

Okay? It's a scam.

Well, I'm doing it.

I'm saving up for those tapes.

Because I know what you could be

if you just apply yourself.

Because I know what you could be

if you just apply yourself.

You know what?

I do apply myself every day, Mom.

I work my ass off

burying dead people. Okay?

I'm only 26. I'm not in any rush.

What's your rush for?

Just let me be.

I don't rush you.

Okay. Then I'll

do 'em myself.

Fine. Do 'em.

Okay, then I won't

let you on my yacht.

Except Large. Large, you can

come anytime you want.

Just don't bring

your friend here.

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