Futurama: Bender's Game Page #2
in him for nothing?
Don't worry, the Professor
won't even remember
that he has a spaceship.
(LEELA GASPS)
My precious spaceship.
My lone source of joy
in the cold December of my days.
Come, friends. Let's take her for a spin
to the malt shop like old times.
Leela to Zoidberg.
Execute Distraction Protocol Alpha.
ZOIDBERG ON RADIO: Roger that.
Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!
Don't look at me.
(HERMES GASPING)
Yes, she's a wonderful ship, all right.
As beautiful now
as the day I got botched laser eye surgery.
Now, that's odd.
What's the fuel gauge doing on the...
(FARNSWORTH GASPING)
Great Godzilla's gonads!
Answer now or be punished.
-(SIGHING) All right, fine. I admit it.
-You will be punished.
Oh, my gosh, 20!
Yeah.
Your pole arm does double damage,
and the gelatinous cube dies
in horrible poverty.
(GASPING)
-All right.
-Hooray.
I proceed to cast a spell of darkness.
Most ingenious.
-Bender?
-Me?
I cast a spell of darkness.
(EXCLAIMS)
Pretty imaginative, huh?
No, you just did the same thing as me,
but with a dumb noise.
Oh...
You're right. I'm great in every way
except I have no imagination.
All I ever wanted is to play
this magical game and I can't.
Yes, you can. You just have
to lose yourself in the fantasy.
You have to believe the impossible
is merely preposterous.
Okay. Here goes.
Visor down.
I believe, I believe.
Ooh.
I did it! I imagined something.
For 1.3 milliseconds,
I truly believed I was a noble robot
in days of yonder.
Way to go, Bender.
What is thy character's name, good sir?
Uh, um...
I am Titanius lnglesmith,
fancy man of Cornwood.
(BOYS EXCLAIM)
(DOOR OPENS)
Everybody out of the conference room.
I am calling a conference.
Everybody get in here.
You wasted precious fuel just because
you were insulted by some redneck yokel
from beyond the stars?
-It was only half a ball.
-That's not the point.
Your temper is out of control.
And to think I'd have never even known
if it weren't for the lengthy
and unsolicited tattling of Dr. Zoidberg.
She also took home
Thank you, Dr. Zoidberg.
Hermes, incentivize that employee.
As for you, Leela, I'm letting you off
with a warning.
Oh, thank you.
A warning that will be administered
by this 50,000-volt shock collar.
Zoidberg, I'm gonna put my boot
so far up your cloaca, you'll be...
Ow!
The collar will be triggered any time
your thoughts turn to violence.
Profanity.
Son of a...
Or perversions of a sexual nature.
Ow!
Sorry, it's the only collar
they had in stock at Office Depot.
I hope you picked up some Scotch tape
while you were there.
BENDER:
That's a good one.
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"Futurama: Bender's Game" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/futurama:_bender's_game_8713>.
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