Futurama: Bender's Game Page #3

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(ZOIDBERG EXCLAIMING)

NARRA TOR:
imagine, if you will,

an announcer you can barely understand.

He refers to a...

(NARRA TOR SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

But you're not quite sure what he said.

He seems to be eating something,

or perhaps he's a little drunk.

It's remotely possible that he just said

something about The Scary Door.

SOLDIER:
Firing, sir!

It's all over. Our guns and bombs

-are useless against the aliens.

-The saucers! Theys are crashing!

NARRA TOR:
In the end, it was not guns

or bombs that defeated the aliens,

but that humblest of all God's creatures,

the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

(ALIEN SCREAMING)

I can't believe TiVo suggested

that piece of... Ow!

Come on, Hermes.

Surely you have the authority

to remove this damn collar.

Alas, no.

I got the key but not the authority.

Yeow!

Well, who does have the authority?

Only the staff doctor.

You'll have to convince him

that you have resolved your anger issues.

I don't have any god...

mother...anger issues.

As your dwarf-skin canoe rounds a bend

you suddenly see...

A terrifying red dragon.

(SCREAMS)

What do we do? What do we do?

Wait, I know.

I make use of my round of fireballs.

(lMITATING EXPLOSIONS)

(SCOFFS)

Everyone knows red dragons

are immune to fireballs

as well as all other forms

of incendiary attack.

Yes, but I aim not at the dragon

but at the river itself,

to create a shroud of steam

through which we can escape.

ALL:
Whoa!

Sweet pony of Sierra Leone, it worked!

-We did it!

-Yeah!

Bender, smell this milk.

I go not by the name of Bender,

you fleshy fool,

I am Titanius lnglesmith,

fancy man of Cornwood.

Professor, something's bothering me.

(lN FARNSWORTH'S VOICE) Well, you can

always talk to me about anything, Fry.

What's on your mind?

Well, it's about my friend Bender.

Mmm. I see.

Show me on this anatomically correct doll

exactly where he touched you.

No, it's nothing like that.

It's just that I am worried about him.

He's being playing an awful lot

of Dungeons & Dragons.

Dungeons &... Good God!

Hasn't he seen the Aferschool Special?

You've got to talk to him, Fry.

Make him quit now,

before he completely loses his mind.

-Okay, I will.

-Good boy.

Just don't let him touch you down there.

(SCREECHING)

Well, here's your problem, right here.

You've got a skull embedded in your head.

(SIGHS) You're absolutely right, Doctor.

Can the collar come off now?

Let me just peel your head a little

and see if I can get that skull out.

(LEELA GRUNTING)

(LEELA EXCLAIMING)

So, you tell me, little miss expert,

why always with the temper?

Calm down for once and think.

Here, enjoy a relaxing spritz

from my empathy bladder.

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