Fun with Dick and Jane Page #2

plant what we want or take it all back.

What a rip-off.

Right. Roll up the lawn.

I don't like the lawn either.

AstroTurf has more life than this stuff.

You will never work

in this neighborhood again!

- Hey, Mom, you were terrific.

- You think so, kid?

- What do you want?

- I want the plants inside.

Step one foot in this house,

I'll call the police.

I still want the plants.

Pretty grim, huh?

What are we going to tell Dad

when he comes home?

Well...

...are you gonna tell me

how bad things are...

...or are you gonna wait

for the roof to fall in?

It really isn't as bad as it looks.

Nothing is as bad as this looks.

We don't have any income

or any assets.

What do you mean,

we don't have any assets?

Other than the sun in the morning

and the moon at night.

We got this house.

We owe $ 77,000 on this house, Dick.

If you died right now,

how would I pay it off?

Out of the insurance.

We don't have any.

You borrowed against it.

Right, right, right. I forgot.

This is ridiculous.

I'm not gonna die tonight.

The night is young.

It's comforting to know

when things get tough...

...l'll have you standing behind me

with an ice pick.

You've been leading a secret life

for these last years.

For example, what are

"insecured municipal debentures"?

I don't know. I gambled on a few things

for us, and I lost. I'm sorry.

You gambled. You lost.

What about me?

I gambled and lost, and I didn't

even get a chance to play.

I didn't even watch.

Your interest in economics

was limited to the spending part.

I always thought of you as

a responsible aerospace executive.

Who would have known you were

the Typhoid Mary of high finance.

If I'd have consulted you,

I wouldn't have lost my job.

If you think you can do better,

take over.

It would be hard

to do it any worse.

Go ahead, be my guest.

It's all yours.

My very thought.

And my first act as director

of family economics...

...is to put you on an allowance.

- On a what?

What kind of lunatic spends $ 1000 on

lunch when he's out of a job and in debt?

The kind that knows you can't

get a job if you look like a loser.

If I was Diners Club, I'd bronze your

stomach and put it in the hall of fame.

Point number two.

Your job is to get on the food stamp

program, look for work in your field...

Excuse me, why don't I get a "job" job?

Like a busboy or a waiter?

If we're not too proud

to go on welfare...

- We can't afford it.

- Can't afford it?

You earn more money on unemployment

than you could in any of those jobs.

My job is to get a "job" job.

- You're gonna get a job?

- Yes. Incredible as it may seem.

May I ask... No offense, mind you.

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