From Paris With Love Page #2

I was confronted by a

American hating frog leg eating snail sucking

motherfucking cockin sucking bureaucrat.

Cos I rather use it as a noun as in

This Motherf***er hates Americans so much

Even though we saved his country's ass in

not only one world war but two ...

He still wouldn't let me bring in my cans.

So now that we are clear about

how I use M word...

With no disrespect to you

or your official capacity...

as the guardian of your country's borders ...

I would just move on with my cans.

- No, Monsiour

It will never enter France OK!

Well, how am I suppose to

have the energy to enjoy...

the endless pleasures of

your fine city?

We can get you some shots of espresso

on the way out instead, sir.

It is very important that you clear customs.

- Not without my cans!

Pardon Monsiour.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

They've got a real problem with those cans.

- Lord seems I'm running late. Do you know this place?

Yeah, they're better chinese food in town.

Yeah, I hear they make a killer Egg Fu Yang.

So slip this guy some bills. And let's get me over there.

That's not how we do things here, sir.

Well That's how I do things. Why don't you

call the embassy and get me a different driver...

who will comply to how I do things.

I'm not your driver, I'm your partner.

Hey, the chess player.

I read your file.

You play?

- Do I look like I play board games?

So why don't you get this guy laid, give

him a box of Cohidas. Polish just take whatever it takes.

Just get it done.

Why don't I try a little more subtle.

Diplomatic Mail

Checkmate, Motherf***er!

You know that really was not necessary back there?

Yeah, I know. I just like sticking to the self righteous little pricks.

Think just becos they got a badge and a uniform

they can lord over us civilians anytime the mood strikes them.

You know we can probably get

that drink down in any supermarket?

Yeah, I know that too.

- So what's the big deal over some corn syrup, caffeine and water?

Well the big deal is my secret ingredient.

Which I cannot take the chance

that they would find out about.

Hence the diversionalry tactics of the

dramatic variation of Motherf***er.

You mean everything back there was...

- You didn't get that?

You know I am authorized to you any weapon you want.

- Yeah, but not like this one.

Because me and Mrs Jones...

We got a fam... going on...

til death do us part.

No gravy.

Leave it up to the French

to f*** up China's no. one dish.

It's not Chinese, it's American.

- Bullshit!

It was invented by a

Jewish guy in San Francisco.

Bullshit again.

- I'm telling you the truth.

There's nothing Chinese about it.

Not even the name!

Foe Yong has got nothing to do

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