Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel Page #2

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- Nerds!

- Hey!

Didn't we all agree to stop

using the "N" word?

I didn't agree to anything.

"Nerd" is the word they use

to keep us down.

- You should use the term... "imagineer".

- Yeah.

That's the nerdiest thing I've ever heard!

You are just threatened.

You're threatened because

you don't understand our world.

What's to understand?

I saw one Star Trek film.

- I hated it, never looked back.

- Really? Which one?

The first one with the big,

gold robot and the little, fat mate.

- You mean Star Wars, don't you?

- Do I? Aren't they the same thing?

No. No, they're not.

- He knows.

- How would I know? I'm not a nerd.

Or even an imagineer.

- Better.

- I'm glad you're happy.

Whose round is it?

Mm-mm!

- I got the last round.

- I got the biscuits from the garage.

I paid for you to get into Scandals.

I paid for the cloakroom.

- I brought teabags round when you ran out.

- I lent you my coat.

The snug's less busy.

Can you get me some crisps?

Thanks.

He could wear stealth lederhosen.

- Jesus, you took your time!

- Yes, I did.

- I'll get the next round.

- Well done. I was impressed.

What?

It's a lot of effort to go to.

I mean, I'm er... I'm rather touched.

What are you talking about?

Cassie. Next door.

She fed me her little story.

- Cassie?

- The girl in the snug.

Come on, guys.

Fit, funny, dodgy American accent.

- You set it up.

- Just now?

Yeah. Look, whatever.

I just want to say thank you.

I think I might actually

be in with a chance there.

I see why you think it'd be a wind-up.

- You want to hear what happened or not?

- Absolutely.

Go on. Make her double-jointed.

Ignore him. Come on.

I want to hear it.

OK.

Hello, Ray.

Hi.

Erm... I'm sorry. Do I know you?

I'm Cassie.

You don't know me,

but I know you very well.

At least, I feel like I do.

I've read all about you.

- All about me?

- Yeah.

From your perspective,

those books haven't been written yet, but er...

Haven't been written yet,

like from the future?

Exactly!

Ah. Ah, I see.

- You're a time traveller.

- Bingo! Yes.

I didn't say I believed her.

- You've invented a girlfriend!

- I have not.

"Time-travelling hottie visits time-travel fan."

It's not a bad idea.

- How far back in time have you come?

- 150 years.

And where's your time machine?

Inside me.

Oh! That's handy, isn't it?

Is it like a little pill?

Uh, no, it's hard-wired into my bones which

have been replaced with a polymer composite.

So it's flexible,

but very standard issue.

Are you a space-lady?

Hello. Nanu.

- Phone home.

- No!

No, I repair time leaks.

- Sounds exciting.

- No.

No, it's not. Really.

It's quite dull.

- This is the only perk of the job.

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