Frasier Page #4

Season #1

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The delivery man leaves. Martin sits in The Armchair, newly

installed as the centrepiece of the apartment.

Frasier:
Oh look, Dad, as dear as I'm sure this, this piece is to you

I, I just don't think it goes with anything here!

Martin:
I know, it's eclectic!

He reclines, knocking over the small folding table; Frasier rescues

the glass ornament again, and rights the table.

Frasier:
Niles, Niles, will you help me out here?

Martin:
Ah, you're gonna have to run an extension cord over here so

I can plug in the vibrating part.

Frasier:
Oh yes, that will be the crowning touch.

Niles quickly heads for the door.

Niles:
Well, now that you two are settled in, I've got to run.

I'm late for my dysfunctional family seminar.

He is halfway out of the apartment before he remembers something...

Niles:
Dad, have you mentioned Eddie yet?

Frasier:
[horrified] Eddie?

Niles:
Ta-ta! [closes the door]

Frasier:
Oh no, Dad, no, no! Not Eddie!

Martin:
But he's my best friend! Get me my beer, would you?

Frasier:
[fetches the beer] But he's weird! He gives me the creeps!

All he does is stare at me.

Martin:
Ah, it's just your imagination.

Frasier:
No Dad, no! No, I'm sorry, but I am putting my foot down.

Eddie is NOT moving in here.

7 of12

FADE TO:

EDDIE:

Scene Four -Apartment -Night

The lights are off. Martin is in his chair, eating a hot link and

watching the Charles Bronson movie; sounds of mindless violence can

be heard emanating from the TV.

The camera pans over to the couch, where an uncomfortable-looking

Frasier is seated. Perched next to Frasier is Eddie -a wire-haired

Jack Russell terrier. Eddie stares at Frasier.

End of Act One.

Act Two.

Scene Five -Cafe Nervosa.

Niles has just been served his coffee; Frasier rushes in.

Frasier:
[anxious] Niles, there you are! I'm sorry I'm late; just as

I was leaving, Dad decided to cook lunch by the glow of a

small kitchen fire! Oh Niles, this last week with Dad, it's,

it's been a living hell! When I'm there, I feel like my

territory's being violated; when I'm not, I'm worried about

what he's up to. Look at me, [shows Niles his shaky hands]

I'm a nervous wreck! I've got to do something to calm down.

[goes to the bar] Double espresso, please! Niles, you don't

still have the brochures from those rest homes, do you?

Niles:
Of course I do. Don't forget, Maris is five years older

than I am. But you really think that's necessary?

Frasier:
I'm afraid I do. I don't have my life anymore. Tuesday

night I gave up my tickets to the theatre, Wednesday it was

the symphony... [gets his coffee]

Niles:
That reminds me, weren't you going to the opera on Friday?

Frasier:
Yes, here. [hands him some tickets]

Niles:
Thank you.

Frasier:
Niles, you don't suppose there's a chance that you and Maris

could...

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