Frankie Boyle Live 2: If I Could Reach Out Through Your TV and Strangle You I Would

Synopsis: British television's sharpest tongue delivers the painfully honest goods in this performance from his 2010 stand-up tour. Dismantling popular culture and modern society with equal glee, Boyle wears his political incorrectness as a badge of honor.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Brian Klein
76 min

that they were married,

she got thinner and better looking

and her pussy got tighter.

(Audience groans)

Before the cancer,

she'll have had a fanny like a canoe.

You wouldn't have known whether

to finger her or get in and row her.

A lot of guys on dates going,

"This isn't funny."

l'd like to have been at that wedding

ceremony. "Till death do you part?"

"Friday? Yeah, sure."

Heather Mills, she gets a hard time

in the papers, doesn't she?

l quite fancy her.

l'd do Mills.

lt'd be like shagging an evil pogo stick.

Who cares about her leg?

lt's her face you'd be finishing on.

The person l feel sorry for

in that story is Linda McCartney.

Linda McCartney must be spinning

in her hemp-weave death basket.

Apparently, Jordan and Peter Andre

are fighting each other

over custody of Harvey.

Eventually one of them will lose

and have to keep him.

(Cheering and whistles)

l have a theory

that Jordan married a cage-fighter

cos she needed someone strong enough

to stop Harvey from fucking her.

(Groaning and laughter)

lt's my last tour

and l don't give a f*ck any more.


Stephen Hawking

nearly died last year.

Luckily they sorted him out, they just

switched him off and then on again.

Did you see that story the tabloids were

going nuts about? The paedophile bikini.

lt was a bikini on sale in Primark

aimed at kids,

but it had a padded bra.

Surely, the last thing a paedophile

wants to see is tits.

What that bikini was

was a paedophile deterrent,

and it should have been marketed

as that.

The bikini bottoms should have had

fake pubes coming out of the sides.

"There you go, wee Jenny,

no one's going to want to f*ck you now.

"They'll think you're a dwarf

with a hygiene problem."

Did you enjoy Michael Jackson dying?

That was good.

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Frankie Boyle

Francis Martin Patrick Boyle (born 16 August 1972) is a Scottish comedian and writer, well known for his pessimistic and often controversial sense of humour.He was a permanent panellist on the comedy panel show Mock the Week from its beginning in June 2005 until his departure in September 2009 and since then has made guest appearances on several other panel shows, as well as writing for Jimmy Carr's Distraction and Sean Lock's TV Heaven, Telly Hell. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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