Folk Hero & Funny Guy Page #2

---

No, as my opening act, man.

What are you doing

for the next few weeks?

You want me to open up

for your band?

Oh, if you don't wanna do it,

my cousin actually knows

Hannibal Buress.

Be perfect for you.

I didn't say I don't

wanna do it, I'm just saying,

you know, just give me

a second to think about it.

Don't think about it

for too long, you know?

All right, ready?

Here's to comedy

- before folk rock.

- Cheers.

Hello?

- Rise and shine.

- What the f*** are you doing?

What do you mean what the f*** am I doing?

I'm picking you up.

Dude, I thought you were

bullshitting last night.

No way, dude, I wouldn't

bullshit about this.

Wait, hold the door!

Hold the door! I'm coming up!

Damn.

Okay, okay.

- Yo, what's up, dude?

- What's up, man? Hey.

- What a night, huh?

- Yeah.

I like what you did with the place.

It's nice.

- Thanks, yeah, it was featured

in "dwell" magazine. -Funny.

Well, our first stop's Jersey,

I wanna get on the road

and get going

before rush hour traffic.

Jason, I can't just eject

out of my life

- and join the f***ing circus.

- Dude, you're a temp.

- Can I have a beer? You want a beer?

- No, you go ahead.

I'm in a place

right now where I need

to focus on my writing,

I need to hunker down

and flesh out some new material.

Well, then flesh out

some new material on the road.

You are asking me to create an opening

act for a musical performance.

I can't just whip it up

in an afternoon.

You were on Conan.

Okay, I'm sure you'll be fine

on my solo acoustic tour.

- Yeah, in a sketch about Bartman.

- Yeah.

Anyway, my role

was a non-speaking role.

Okay, it's not standup.

It's very different.

Well, whatever, dude,

I'm sure it'll be fine.

Jason, I need to get

my life in order.

I need to climb out of debt.

I need to find a mattress

that doesn't have

a slow leak in it.

What the f*** else

are you gonna do?

What, are you going

to go back to advertising?

No.

No f***ing way, dude.

What? What? My former boss,

he started this new agency.

He's making six figures.

Has equity in stock backend

options or something,

he said he'd give me an interview

in the next few weeks.

Dude, how many times have

we f***ing talked about this?

A career in music?

A career in comedy?

That, my friend,

is a lifetime commitment.

And you wanna look back

in four years and realize

that you gave up

because a girl dumped you,

and then f***ing money

was tight?

Hey, man, is there any chance

we can swing by my old place?

I'd love to grab my rolling bag.

What? You still

have stuff at Emily's?

A few little things, yeah.

Thank you.

You still have

a lot of stuff here.

Yeah. I'm still getting

settled in my new place, babe,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes