Fifty Shades of Black Page #2

Synopsis: An inexperienced college student meets a wealthy businessman whose sexual practices put a strain on their relationship.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Michael Tiddes
Production: Open Road Films
  2 wins & 4 nominations.
 
IMDB:
3.5
Metacritic:
28
Rotten Tomatoes:
7%
R
Year:
2016
92 min
Website
1,473 Views


What? Uh! Get that dick!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Take it to town, motherf***er.

Get that dick.

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

Sh*t, girl, yeah! Ooh!

So, did he have a big dick?

- What?

- Ooh, girl, was it like real skinny, girl,

or was it like real long,

like skinny long?

'Cause that's f***ing weird.

But, like, short

and thick, girl?

I can get down with

that short, fat dick.

No, there is... There's no...

There's no dick.

Remember what I told you, okay?

If it's got like little red zit-like

things on the head of that sh*t,

you put that in your butt, okay?

He gonna be like,

"Oh, girl, no, it's just skin tags."

"B*tch, you got 47

skin tags on your dick?

"I ain't falling for that sh*t.

"Again!" Okay?

Mmm, but you gotta admit,

girl, he is bangin'! Mmm!

Yeah, I guess if you're

into the wildly-successful,

super-handsome,

possibly-dangerous thing,

then Christian

Black is your guy.

B*tch, I'm talkin'

'bout Lil Weezy!

Ooh, girl, he got

tats on his tats.

And he ain't afraid

to get a b*tch pregnant.

Let you keep

the baby and everythin'.

Mmm.

You gonna eat that?

Ooh, I wish I could find a man

the size of this to satisfy me.

(CHUCKLES)

This sh*t better be gluten-free.

(SIGHS)

Hmm, Mr. Black.

Oh, God.

Mmm... God, Christian.

Mmm...

(MOANING)

(CLIPBOARD CLATTERS)

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

(EXCLAIMING)

Oh, my God, you know

what I wanna do.

(CONTINUES MOANING)

(RETCHES AND SPITS)

(GAGGING)

(YELLING)

(CONTINUES GAGGING)

(MOANS)

(COUGHS)

(PANTING)

(CHUCKLES)

(GASPS)

- Hi.

- What the f***?

What a pleasant

surprise, Ms. Steale.

Please, call me Hannah.

Okay, Ms. Steale.

I was just in the area and

wanted to pick up a few items.

Are you stalking me, Mr. Black?

(LAUGHS)

Yes.

I mean, unless you

don't want me to.

You do want me to, don't you?

Just something to think about.

Can I help you with something?

Yes.

I would like to pick up some

cable ties and some tape.

Well, you're in luck, we got

some cable ties right here.

- What color do you want?

- Red.

The color of passion.

The tape is this way.

Follow me.

If I didn't know better,

I might mistake you

for a serial killer.

(CHUCKLES)

Don't be ridiculous.

If I was a serial killer,

I'd need rope, ax, lye, ammonia,

chlorophyll, wood

chipper, plastic sheets

and three large

boxes of space Pampers.

And a shovel.

Second thought...

I think I need to

pick up a few more items.

Well, looks like

you're all set now.

Thank you, Ms. Steale.

Hey, if your roommate needs a

photo to go with the story,

I'll be around tomorrow.

And the next day.

And the day after that.

I'm actually around

all of next week.

Here. Just contact me.

"Christian Black.

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes

Marlon Wayans

Marlon Lamont Wayans (July 23, 1972) is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, and film producer, beginning with his role as a pedestrian in I'm Gonna Git You Sucka in 1988. He frequently collaborates with his brother Shawn Wayans, as he was on The WB sitcom The Wayans Bros. and in the comedic films Scary Movie, Scary Movie 2, White Chicks, Little Man, and Dance Flick. However, Wayans had a dramatic role in Darren Aronofsky's critically acclaimed Requiem for a Dream, which saw his departure from the usual comedies. In 2009, he appeared in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. In 2013, he had a leading role in A Haunted House and co-starred in The Heat. A Haunted House 2 was released on April 18, 2014. He also appeared in the Netflix film Naked. Marlon has partnered with former Funny or Die co-founder Randy Adams to create What the Funny, an online destination for urban comedy. Marlon created the comedy competition television show, Funniest Wins, which aired on TBS in June - August 2014. As of 2014, Marlon and his brothers have been traveling the U.S. with "The Wayans Brothers Tour". In 2016, Wayans wrote, produced and starred in Fifty Shades of Black. The film is a parody of the 2015 erotic romantic drama film Fifty Shades of Grey. In 2017, NBC gave him his own sitcom, Marlon, for a 10-episode run. In September 2017, Marlon got renewed for a second season by NBC, set to premiere in 2018. more…

All Marlon Wayans scripts | Marlon Wayans Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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