FDR: American Badass! Page #3

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for President?

And if you win,

how will it feel

to be the first invalid

ever elected?

Gee, Bob, if I had known you

were going to try to f*** me,

I would have had the hospital

dress me in a nicer gown.

Men are not prisoners

of their fate.

They are only prisoners

of their own mind.

And I will not allow you

to rape the prisoner

inside my mind.

And as far as invalids go--

oh, hell, the conservatives

in this country

have been invalids for years.

He's got that right.

I view this werewolf attack

not as an attack against me,

but an attack

against our nation.

And I will fight the problems

of this nation

with the same tenacity

that I used

to take down

that vicious beast.

So, today I toss my hat

into the ring

with the Democratic Party

to be the next President

of the United States.

God bless America.

FDR, FDR, FDR...

How was that?

It was good.

The part about the prisoner

was a little weird.

I was freestyling, son.

Oh, Frank!

Mrs. Roosevelt,

you're going to have to sit

up front on Franklin's lap.

Ooh.

Why?

Because there's a dead werewolf

in the trunk.

I'll explain later.

Did you debrief him?

Yes.

Cool.

I hate when I have to take

his boxers off.

Is he in bed?

Yes.

Where are you going?

I'm going to sleep

in the guest bedroom.

Do you really think

he should be alone right now?

I can't--

It's just--

His legs--

They're shriveled-up

like two-day-old hot dogs.

I don't want them

touching me.

Eleanor,

He is running for the Presidency

of the United States.

You are his wife

and a potential first lady.

So, what are you saying?

What I'm saying is you have got

to get your sh*t together!

Not just for Frank,

but for the good of the whole

country, do you hear me?

[WHISPERS] Yes.

A divorce will blow his chances

right out of the water

and that just can't happen.

There's too much at stake.

We think

there might still be more...

werewolves out there.

Are you serious?

I thought that was

an isolated attack.

We still don't know.

Oh.

Look,

we'll talk about it tomorrow.

Get some sleep.

Oh.

[KNOCKS]

Yes.

How you feeling, Frank?

Not too bad, actually.

Just getting used to getting

in and out of that chair.

Crawling into bed here, I was

as nervous as a 10-year-old

in a whore house.

I bet.

So,

Eleanor is tending

to the kids?

Yeah, she's probably

going to spend the night

with them tonight--

keep an eye on them.

They've had a pretty big scare.

They have? Sh*t, look at these!

Oh!

Frank, you've got to stop

doing that.

[CHUCKLES]

Here's the paper, by the way.

Thank you.

Let's see.

Oh, American hero

and werewolf killer,

Franklin Delano Roosevelt

announces he's running

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