Father of Invention Page #2

- Guys, don't.

Calm down. Just 'cause he's homeless

doesn't mean he's dangerous.

Guys, I can handle it.

Just give me a minute, okay?

Let him in.

It's my father.

Just give me a minute.

Wow, look at you.

Wow.

Look at you.

I... I read about your girls' home.

Center for Women's Employment.

Anyway, I just thought

I'd come by and tell you...

Where are you staying?

A shelter.

A shelter, a halfway home?

It's a shelter-home... a hybrid thing.

Well, it must be that one

on Fulton and Sixth.

I heard it's supposed to be nice.

They got new cots last year.

This is stupid.

I shouldn't have come here at all.

I don't know why I did.

Obviously you've got your own life,

your own career.

Wait.

Wait here.

Does he need a place to stay?

'Cause he could stay here.

He's not gonna stay here.

He does not deserve to be around you.

You gotta shut him down,

wall him off.

I mean, he loves you.

He came to see you.

How does that mean he loves her?

He's a user.

Take this.

It's the rainy season.

You'll need it.

Thanks.

I'll give you one month.

Let's go.

- I can pay rent. It's not a problem.

- I don't want rent money.

Okay, well, at least let me

pay for some groceries.

I don't want your grocery money.

You'll get a job... a real job,

'cause at the end of 30 days

you're on your own.

Hi. I'm Donna.

It's so nice to meet you.

Claire and I have been roommates

since freshman year

and I feel like I know

nothing about you.

Well, I wish I could sit

on my couch, but I can't,

'cause Captain Caveman's on it.

- Who's that?

- That's just Phoebe.

You know, I'm studying for my LSATs.

Dad wants me to be a lawyer.

He says it doesn't matter what kind.

What do you think?

I don't know.

Where's Phoebe from?

She's from Craigslist, back when

we were looking for a roommate.

Now not so much.

She's a lesbian.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I wouldn't have guessed that.

Oh, Claire, these eggs

are so good...

not too hard, not too soft.

They're right where you want to be.

You really think that you can

come in here

and you can compliment her eggs,

and that makes up for the fact

that you've been MIA

for the better part of her life?

Phoebe, can we not get into

the whole MIA thing right now? Okay?

Do you need a bike? 'Cause if you do,

you could totally borrow mine.

Donna, it's okay.

He doesn't need your bike.

So, Phoebe, what do you do

for a living?

- She's a gym teacher.

- Oh, that's interesting.

You know, you don't meet

that many lesbians who teach gym.

I'd rather be a lesbian gym teacher

than the world's

preeminent infomercial douchebag.

Hey, enough. Enough.

You know, I love inventions.

The Ped Egg, the ThighMaster,

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