Fat Camp Page #2

---

Don't get in my way

Don't-Don't just stand there

Move

This road I take

Choices to make

Adios, I'm ghost

C'est la vie

Make room

Please excuse me

Don't get in my way

Don't-Don't just stand there

Move, move

To the max I can't

relax I'm doing 100

Movement of the stomach Got

me thinking Of the summer

To the top Can't drop

Can't plummet, can't stop

Gonna gun it Trying

to get it Got a point

Want it like You want

to breathe Indeed

Get up off them knees

Proceed

Think it's less on wants

More on needs

More success to come

I must bleed

[rap continues]

Encore, take a bow

Will vow for anyone

We're going to show them how Get

it down To the simplest minimum

Move, move, move

Fuuuuck.

Come in.

Yo, Uncle Mike, what up?

Hey, look. First off,

it's "Big Mike" around here.

I can't have people thinking this is

a nepotism hire, as it clearly is.

It's totally merit-based.

You have zero merit

on which to base it, okay?

Trust me, I would've said no,

but I'm as desperate as you are.

Yeah, shocking.

Another crisis for the big man.

Not quite as desperate.

I have lodging.

Ouch, man, damn.

Look, I'm sorry.

Your aunt really left me

in a lurch.

Sorry, man. Must be tough

when your wife leaves you

for another woman...

that you hired.

Couldn't have seen that

on her rsum.

Look, I can do this job

in my sleep, okay?

But I'm not a marketer.

She used to do all the websites,

and the Twitters and stuff.

Now that she's gone,

my attendance is sh*t.

I can't do two people's jobs, Hutch.

I'm one person.

What about on a airplane?

F*** you, I'm one person.

Okay.

I dunno. Maybe I should just

burn this place down

and retire off the insurance

money or something.

Yo, come on, Uncle Mike, chill.

You got a sponsor or somebody I can call to

help you with all this sh*t you going through?

Hutch...

I need you

to listen to me.

I need big results this summer

to attract more campers...

or I'm gonna lose this place.

Good. Then you can get a job

where you don't have to watch

an elephant parade

all goddamn day.

That's a really nice way

to say thank you.

- For what?

- For giving you a job, a**hole.

At a fat camp?

Thank you.

"Fitness camp."

All right, man, "fitness camp."

From what your mom tells me,

this is your last shot.

Otherwise you're gonna end up

in a homeless shelter,

getting raped

by a schizophrenic named Tobias

who thinks he's a unicorn

and hasn't showered in months.

What?

Look, bottom line is...

you got no place else to go,

and my camp could actually benefit

from your fitness acumen.

But I need you

to take this job seriously,

'cause unlike your mom,

I'm not giving you 20 chances.

My camp, my rules.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes