Fancy Pants Page #2

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ladies and gents over the weekend.

- With a handsome fee, eh?

- Oh, yes, of course.

- And a good time for all.

- Yes.

It will be a pleasure

to help out his lordship.

I think I can speak for all of us.

Yeah, sounds like good fun.

Let's go.

- Except Humphrey, of course.

- Yeah, we don't want him...

Well, why "except Humphrey,

of course"?

- Your lordship, fellow thespians...

- No curtain speeches, please.

Your lordship,

some members of the cast

are jealous of my sterling portrayals.

I have played valets and gentlemen's

gentlemen from Chicago to Liverpool

and a slight to me is a blow

to all the great names of theater.

What did he say?

"Plenty to eat and drink,

a good fee and she's spoiling it all."

- Yes, precisely.

- Your ladyship,

I beseech that thou wouldst

grant me this opportunity.

I promise the greatest performance

of my career, if thou wouldst,

or myself a watery grave

in the Thames, if thou wouldn'tst.

- Wouldst?

- Yes, come on.

- Don't be upstage.

- Give him a chance.

Oh, very well,

but keep him away from me.

- At your service, milord.

- Good. Fine.

I'll send carriages for you.

I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

Thanks very much.

What polish. What finesse.

Gadzooks

I'm a butler

Who's really a butler

Aloof from my hoof to my blinkers

I look just as bored

As me master, the lord

As I'm serving

The blinking tea drinkers

You've heard of Humphrey

I'm that bloke

Favorite of the gentle folk

Here's how

Yes, milord

I'm your gentleman and valet

Blimey, hain't I blooming bally?

Here, now

Yes, milord

May I crumy your crumpets

In your tea?

Have a banana.

- Howdy.

- Oh, good afternoon, mum.

Aggie.

Good afternoon.

- Your wrap, mum?

- Yeah. Bought it in Chicago.

I'm the butler. May I?

- Thank you. Your cane?

- I think I'll keep it. It might rain.

His lordship waits in the garden.

Follow me, mum.

What class.

Wish we had something like that

at home.

Oh, Ma, somebody would shoot him

before we got him in the house.

Direct from America,

presenting Mrs. Floud and Miss Floud.

So good to see you.

- Hi, earl.

- And more than good to see you.

Come now, meet the family.

This is my mother, Lady Brinstead.

Flattered to meet you,

Lady Brinstead.

- Charmed.

- Do it, Aggie.

Charmed.

And my cousin Rosalind,

Duchess of Dover.

- Charmed.

- How do you do?

Aggie.

- Howdy, duchship.

- How do you do?

His lordship,

the 13th Earl of Brinstead, my father.

- You'd think there was gravy on it.

- Yes, yes. Father. Father!

Forgive Father's enthusiasm.

Told him all about you and that's

his way of showing his approval.

Did you hear that, Aggie?

The earl told his father all about you.

Somebody ought to tell his mother

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