Fakkah Fuzz: Almost Banned Page #2

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before you go to jail?"

I'm like, "Hey, come on."

[laughing]

But Chinese people,

I know you guys are here,

but you guys are racists sometimes,

and you don't even know it.

You don't even know it.

Yeah, you don't even know it.

Like, my friend came up to me

and went, "Fuzz, Fuzz.

I am very jealous...

of all y'all Malay couple, you know.

Because me and my wife

are married for five years."

He goes, "Me and my wife,

married for five years, cannot get baby."

A Malay couple who are married for a year,

baby is already nine years old."

I'm like, "Come on, man."

[audience chuckling]

But our president is Malay,

ladies and gentlemen.

Our president is Malay,

and it's a Malay auntie.

Okay?

[audience laughing]

[Fuzz] So, you know...

global discussions are gonna be

very, very easy. Okay?

We are going to win

all of the discussions.

Right? Because nobody guilt-trips you

more than a Malay auntie, okay?

[loud laughter]

Nobody!

[applause]

You can be sitting down in the conference.

Everybody looking at the Malay auntie

going, "Singapore, we do not agree

with your ways.

This is not right, Singapore.

You are wrong."

And the Malay auntie can go,

[in Malay]

"Sure, I'm not as smart as you all are.

[loud laughter]

[in Malay]

Who am I anyway?

I am not educated like all of you."

[chuckles]

Saying that it's not right for a Malay.

Saying that it's not right

because we didn't vote them in.

Huh? What is the president's job

in Singapore?

Shows up at National Day for 20 minutes,

and sits down at the house

for the rest of the year.

That is a perfect job for a Malay. Okay?

[laughter]

Any Malay would love to do that!

[chuckles]

Oh, my god.

And you know she will be with her friends

on the phone all the time, right?

Now, Singapore, we're gonna have

all the intel from all over the world. Because an auntie is president, okay?

[in Malay] "Do you want to know

what China said yesterday?

[audience laughing]

[in Malay] Yes. I'm not trying to say

bad things about them.

[in Malay]

But their child is such a b*tch.

[in Malay]

I'm not trying to b*tch about them."

How is it? I don't understand this!

I don't understand.

Just wait till the show comes out.

[laughter]

[Fuzz chuckles]

I don't understand how the aunties can go,

"I am not talking bad about you,

but I will proceed

to talk bad about you, right?"

[chuckles]

Oh, man.

Oh, I love it.

Imagine... Imagine cleaning up Singapore

when a Malay auntie is president.

That is gonna be so bad, right?

Cleaning up Singapore

is going to be such a hassle.

Because the Malay auntie, man...

Have your mom ever cleaned up your...

You know she's not gonna shut up

when she cleans your house, right?

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