Everything Is Illuminated Page #2

We should go to Lutsk.

Yes?

Are you sure he's okay?

-Grandfather!

-Shut up!

l'm blind, not deaf.

l heard you the first time!

What does he say?

He says, ''Okey-dokey, we will go now.''

-Where will the dog be?

-What do you mean?

l have a phobia.

A fear.

l'm distressed by dogs.

He is afraid of dogs.

Bullshit,

no one is afraid of dogs.

Grandfather informs me

this is not possible.

What?

Get in the car.

The b*tch and the Jew

will share the back seat.

lt is big enough for both of them.

No, wait. Wait.

You don't understand.

l have a very serious, serious problem

with dogs.

l can't sit in there. You--

Were you able to manufacture the:

-What?

-The Z's.

Were you able to make the:

-l don't understand.

-Repose.

Did you repose?

Yeah, l reposed.

Good. Sammy Davis Jr. Jr.

is also in repose.

-Why do you call her that?

-What?

Sammy Davis Jr. Jr.

Because Sammy Davis Jr.

was Grandfather's most beloved singer.

You know, The Candy Man.

The Negro from the Rat Pack.

-And a Jew.

-What?

Yeah, he was a Jew.

You didn't know that?

Grandfather, the Jew says that

Sammy Davis Jr. is Jewish.

The b*tch?

Not Jr. Jr., Jr. the singer.

That's bullshit!

Grandfather informs me

that this is not possible.

Of course it is. He converted. He's the most

famous black Jew in America.

-Please tell me, is the Shaq also the Jew?

-Who?

-Shaquille O'Neal, the Los Angeles Laker.

-No.

-And Michael Jackson?

-No, definitely not a Jew.

Father informs me you are writing a book

about this trip. You are a writer?

No.

Then what is this?

lt's a catalog.

Catalog.

Catalog.

l don't know why they told you that.

l'm not a writer.

l mean, l write, but l'm more of...

...a collector, really.

And what do you collect?

Things.

Family things.

lt is a good career, yes?

No, it's not a career.

lt's just something l do.

Why?

l don't know. Why does anybody

do anything? lt's just something to do.

l understand.

l also enjoy writing...

...but l truly feel l was born

to be accountant.

Are we close?

The Jew wants to know

if we are close.

Tell him to shut the hell up!

Grandfather says we're very proximal.

He says it will not be long

until we get to the superway to Lutsk.

And from there?

How long from here to Lutsk?

Perhaps you would like me

to stop the car...

...and you two can

f*** yourselves to Lutsk!

What did he say?

Grandfather says you should look out

the window at the premium countryside.

-Are you hungry?

-Yes.

-l just hope they have something l can eat.

-What do you mean?

l'm a vegetarian.

You're a what?

l don't eat meat.

How can you not eat meat?

l just don't.

He says he does not eat meat.

What?

-No meat?

-No meat.

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