Everyone Says I Love You Page #2

best friend, suddenly, out of left field.

- She didn't give any warning?

- Nothing at all. Look at that.

Did you ever see anything... I'm so

distraught over this, I can't tell you.

- I'm gonna kill myself.

- [Bob] Ohhh.

I should go to Paris and jump off

the Eiffel Tower. I'll be dead.

In fact, if I get the Concorde,

I could be dead three hours earlier,

which would be perfect.

Or... Wait a minute.

With the time change,

I could be alive for six hours in

New York, but dead three hours in Paris.

- Sit down. Relax. - I could get things

done and I could also be dead.

You didn't hear the signs.

She must've given you some signs, Joe.

What do you think I am, an idiot? What

kind of signs you think she gave me?

I found this photo in her underwear drawer?

She muttered his name when making love?

- I'm not talking about that.

- No, that's what happened.

- What? Joe! - I didn't see it.

I couldn't put it together.

I'm really glad you didn't marry her.

I told you, don't do it.

- I would've been happy to marry her.

- I'm really glad.

You want a glass of something?

Some wine?

I'll take anything. I gotta have

a drink. Know what the sad part is?

- I thought everything was going well.

- You always pick the wrong women.

- Hey, I picked you.

- Yeah, we got divorced.

- 'Cause you were impossible to live with.

- I was impossible to live with?

I love this. You couldn't figure out

whether you wanted to be...

a psychoanalyst or a writer.

So, I compromised.

I became a writer and a patient.

We're gonna find you somebody.

We... We know a lot of people.

- Can't we find somebody?

- I've been trying since we got divorced...

to find the right woman for him,

somebody to match up with his personality.

But I'm beginning...

Honey, bring another glass.

I'm beginning to wonder if the world

population of women isn't too limited.

- Thank you.

- Well, I mean...

- You've had really bad luck. - No, he hasn't.

He's had an unerring sense of poor choice.

And the question is, does he want to spend

his golden years with somebody or not?

- What, are you into

my golden years suddenly? - Yes.

- You have to think about those things.

- Men age differently than women.

- Two more years, I'm gonna look

like your son. - Oh, that was so mean.

- [Laughing]

- Don't you laugh.

Don't talk about my golden years.

She's got me in a home already.

What about Madeline?

After me.

Madeline was won... Madeline was

an archaeologist. She was fabulous.

Madeline was a nymphomaniac.

Yeah, okay, she had

a little problem with fidelity.

- I didn't happen to see it. But she was

a brilliant woman. - What about Carol?

Remember Carol what's-her-name?

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