Every Thing You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask Page #2

Year:
1972
764 Views


- Now! Kiss me quick!

- Yes, where is your quick?

- Canst undress me now?

- I am kissing my own arm.

Yes. Up quickly,

and I will remove the royal dress.

Pullst not upon me.

On my feet, fool.

This is not mockery, this is not games.

At last!

What is this?

Heavy underwear.

'Tis the chastity belt

that the jealous King hath fastened on me...

that no man but him

shalst havest the goods of the body.

That's a bad a break for all of us

here at the palace.

Wait, wait here. I will go.

Here. Now, with most grievous dispatch...

I will open the latch

and get through her snatch.

This key is too big

for that lock.

Sorry about that.

I must think of something quickly,

because before you note...

the Renaissance will be here

and we'll all be painting.

- Her Majesty wishes to borrow this.

- What?

Yes, she has some food

stuck between her teeth,

and I need to pull it down.

Forgive me.

This I wanna call "beaver shooting".

Pick this lock.

There!

Done.

- So now I am yours.

- At last, the portals of ecstasy.

You have the portals of ecstasy,

haven't you?

Be prepared, his Majesty has this day been awake

from his nap by a loud banging.

- He will clip thee in twin.

- Yes, clip me in twin.

Twin over here and the other twin

on the other side of the room.

On his chopping bock.

Yes, I do not look good in twin.

My suits are all made for a full person.

Then I shall not have this passion fulfilled.

Quickly, lock up the thing

that you have there.

Lock the royal box.

Quickly, before...

- Help me, help me.

- I'm helping, but...

Just done.

Perfect. Closed solid.

More solid than any...

My hand is caught

in the chastity belt.

I always keep my hand

in the cookie jars.

The King,

what shallst we do?

The King?

Yes. Quickly,

comest into the dress immediately.

My Queen!

Where is my Queen?

Very casual,

as though nothing had happened.

Oh my Queen! A noise,

dreadful pounding did awaken me...

making my mood most foul.

My Lord,

you did startle me.

Hi Milord. Be a good King, wouldst thou,

and bring me a drink of water.

The fool haveth mean his jest most graceful

details in thine absence.

Haha Milord, tickling

the royal funny bones, so to speak.

Ay, because you see 'tis most lonely

when thou nappest.

Ay Milord,

for me too.

I still...

don't think he is funny.

I got some new ones

for you, Milord:

what's black and white, black and white,

black and white?

A nun falling down for the stairs.

Come,

give me a kiss.

- Course Milord, stick out your tongue.

- Not you!

- I'm leaving.

- I will accompany thee to the door.

At last.

At last we are alone.

Ay, my Lord.

My Lord, I would...

The key.

Where is it?

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David Reuben

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Every Thing You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/every_thing_you_always_wanted_to_know_about_sex_*_but_were_afraid_to_ask_7797>.

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