Every Blessed Day Page #2

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It's not like you die or get

arrested for not having a kid.

I'll get something to drink.

Someone's bitter...

Cutie, go play with the other kids.

Go drink some fruit juice and let me

smoke this damn cigarette.

Don't excruciate yourself.

What does that even mean?

It comes from "crux, crucis".

Crucify yourself, torture yourself.

- Maybe I'm defective.

- Nonsense!

If anything, I took after

uncle Alfredo, who was "vacuous".

That's what the farmers

in my area used to say:

"Only three chicks were born,

the other eggs were 'vacuous"'.

What did your aunt Jolanda

from Poggibonsi say?

"Guido, my munchkin,

I'd gladly do some mending for you,

but it's a bit too 'irkalating"'.

"Irkalating" cracks me up.

Hey, are you crying?

"Spermiogram, Rome".

No, thanks.

Very kind of you, but no.

You too...

Now, time to sleep.

Please, go.

Same to you, goodnight.

Hello,

I'd like to schedule a spermiogram.

Spermiogram,

Friday at 9:
00, all right?

Guido Caselli.

- Three days of abstinence, okay?

- Fine.

- Total abstinence, understand?

- Dagnabit, I totally understand!

Tuesday, November 12th,

St. Cunibert of Cologne,

conservator of King Dagoberfs son

and evangelizer

of Saxony's rural villages.

I'm having a naughty dream.

Let me tell you about it...

Sorry,

but I have tons to do this morning.

- Come here!

- I have laundry to do...

Go take a shower, it's late.

Guido Caselli?

Follow me.

In here, please.

This is for you.

Make yourself comfortable...

there are periodicals if you'd like.

- Where did you learn...

- This lovely antiquated German?

Come on!

Sorry, we need to speed this up.

If I can help...

Yes, please.

We have a line of patients

and time is ticking...

- Make it a quickie, okay?

- Yes.

Know what we need to do?

We need to optimize.

- Optimize, optimize.

- I'll optimize now.

Will you be much longer?

- Are you ready?

- Yes.

I'd like to remind you

that Mrs. Mae will arrive soon

for an MRI of her plantar fascia.

Does "plantar fascia" arouse you?

Not much.

Go away!

Are you looking at my b*obs?

Another mamma's boy

who loves big b*obs! Mamma's boy!

Optimize!

Done? We're not here

to waste time. Are you ready?

Help me, my love.

Help me.

- That's the best I could do.

- Fine.

Results in person or by mail?

I'll come...

I mean, I'll pick them up.

- Goodbye.

- Thanks, you are very... kind.

Thank you.

You have asked to have

Costanza baptized?

Yes, we have.

Costanza, I baptize you

in the name of the Father,

the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Almighty God,

Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

has cleansed you from sin

in new birth to innocence

by water and the Spirit.

Shall we go eat?

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