EuroTrip Page #2

your lady woman Fiona dumping you.

"Since you no longer have a girlfriend,

maybe I could come to America

"and we could get to know each

other better. Perhaps we could...

"zussamen."

What the f*** is "zussamen"?

"Arrange a meeting."

No, no, no! Come on!

Cooper was right.

This guy wants to have sex with me.

"Listen, Mieke...

"I don't want to arrange

any meetings with you,

"you sick, German freak.

"So please keep your hands

off my genitals,

"and never write to me again,

and don't come to America."

"Goodbye."

Oww.

I'm never drinking again.

Oh, that's nice.

Bert, what are you doing?

Reading your email.

Don't do that.

Why are you wearing my bathrobe?

Oh, I'm sorry...

but somebody pissed

all over mine last night.

Wow. I can't believe this German chick

wants to come here and hook up with you.

I don't think so, buddy.

Mieke's a guy.

No, it says right here,

"trauriges madchen."

"I was a sad girl to hear about Fiona."

F***in' A, Scott.

I'm taking "Intro to German,"

and even I know that.

Come here.

He sent me a picture, retardo.

See? That's a picture of Mieke

and his cute cousin, Jan.

No, retardo.

That's Jan, a man's name,

and that's not "Mike,"

it's "Mieke," a common

German girl's name,

similar to our Michelle.

I hope you wrote her back

and told her to come visit.

You didn't?

You thought she was a guy!

I'm getting the video camera! Ha!

What an a**hole!

No.

No.

No!!

"Address blocked"?

"Email not delivered."

No... come on!

Hey, Mom made waffles.

- What's going on?

- I'm in love with my penpal.

I'm in love with Mieke.

OK... OK.

You know what?

I was actually expecting this.

Frankly, I'm flattered

you picked me to come out to first.

And don't worry about

telling your folks, 'cause...

- I think they already know.

- No, you idiot. Mike is a girl.

No, no, I get it. Yeah.

He's the girl, and you're the girl,

and sometimes you're both the girl.

Right?

Right? That's hot.

But whatever works for you.

I'm not gonna judge it.

Will you stop? Look, come here.

Look at this picture.

Wow. Who's the hot chick?

That's "Mike." I mean, Mieke.

That's who you've been writing to

all this time?

Until last night,

when I took your advice

and told her to keep her

"hands off my genitals."

Given what we know now, that seems like

the exact opposite of what you want.

This is a total disaster.

Oh, come on. It's not that bad.

Though she is really hot.

You're not listening.

I don't even care what she looks like.

Mieke and I had this incredible bond.

I told her things

I couldn't even tell you.

Like what?

- Nothing. It's a figure of speech.

- No, seriously. What?

- Nothing. The point...

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