Elsa & Fred Page #2

Oh, living. What else would

I spend it on, dear?

- We're talking about $2,000.

- Would you like the card back?

It's not what I'm saying. I just

want to know what you spent it on.

Well, are you going to stay for dinner?

- Because I...

- Answer me.

- What?

- You helping Alec out again?

No. Now, what has Alec got to do with it?

He's your younger brother.

You've always blamed him.

I think that I'd better get that.

I'm calling the police.

Not only did you damage our car,

but you threatened a minor.

Do you know that that's a felony?

Well, I've never even set

eyes on this particular minor.

- What's going on here?

- She's crazy.

I am certainly not crazy.

This afternoon... is she your mother?

- No.

- Yes. Yes, she is. Please, just...

This afternoon,

your mother rammed into our car,

and then she drove off without

leaving so much as a note.

Oh, well, that's ridiculous.

It's not true.

Oh, really? Okay, you have

an orange car, am I right?

- Well, no.

- Mom.

My son saw the whole thing.

Will you stop threatening my son?

Okay, ma'am, please just calm down.

My mother's an old lady.

I'll calm down once I get

her full insurance details.

- Okay. Mom, go get your insurance papers.

- No, I can't.

- Why not?

- Because I hadn't made the payment.

God.

Do you mean to tell me that you've

been driving around with no insurance?

- You could have killed somebody.

- But I didn't kill anyone.

- It's just a headlight.

- Two headlights, and a fender.

All right. Okay. I'll take care of this.

Just get an estimate, and give me a call.

- Okay? Thank you.

- Drive off in a heat.

Mom...

Two lousy headlights, and then,

"my mother is an old lady."

You could have kept that

one to yourself, dear.

- Please, I was just saying that...

- If that woman parked her car

right next to me, right up against me,

what has my age got to do with it?

I mean, if I was 20, would that

mean she wouldn't park there?

When she calls with the bill,

I will tell you the exact amount.

Now, I'm going to leave

the check blank, okay?

- You just fill it in and give it to her.

- I don't know where she lives.

- Isn't she the new neighbor?

- No, that's her father.

Okay, so, all right. Give it to him.

- What's he like?

- I don't know. I've never seen him.

Hello?

I called three times already.

Why weren't you picking up?

- Because I knew it was you, dear.

- Thanks. Are you okay?

Oh, peachy.

All right, look, your neighbor's

daughter called with a quote for the car.

- $1,500.

- $1,500?

- Wait, well, let me speak to them.

- No, no, no. No. Let it go, okay?

Just write the check and forget about it.

Oh, and not this coming Sunday,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes