Educating Rita Page #2

getting the rhyme wrong.

I love this room.

I love the view from this window.

Do you like it?

I don't often consider it.

I sometimes get the urge

to throw something through it.

- What?

- A student, usually.

You're bleedin' mad, aren't ya?

Probably.

What are you lookin' at?

Are you a good ladies' hairdresser, Rita?

Yeah, I am. But they expect

too much, you know.

Like, women come in the hairdresser's

and half an hour later

they wanna walk out a different person.

You know, but I mean,

if you wanna change,

you've got to do it from the inside,

haven't you, like I'm trying to do.

Do you think I'll be able to learn?

Are you sure you're serious

about wanting to learn?

I'm dead serious, yeah.

I know I take the piss

but that's only because

I'm not, well, confident, like.

But I want to be. Honest.

When, you know, when do you actually

start teaching me, like?

What can I teach you?

Everything.

You want a lot.

And I can't give it.

Between you and me and the walls,

actually I am an appalling teacher.

That's all right most of the time -

appalling teaching is quite in order

for my appalling students

but it is not good enough for you,

young woman.

All I know is -

and you must listen to this -

all I know is that I know

absolutely nothing.

And besides, I don't like the hours

of this Open University business.

They expect me to teach

when the pubs are open.

It's all right.

There are other tutors, good ones.

I will arrange one for you.

Are you saying you want me to go?

Goodbye, Rita.

Wait a minute. Listen to me.

I'm on this course, you are my tutor

and you're gonna bleedin' well teach me.

There are other teachers.

You're my tutor!

I don't want another one.

- For God's sake, woman!

- But you're my tutor!

I told you, I do not want to do it.

Why pick on me?

Because you're a crazy mad piss artist

who wants to throw his students

through the window.

I like ya! Don't you recognise

a compliment?

And when I come next week

I'll cut your hair.

You will not be coming here next week.

- I will be, and you'll be getting a haircut.

- I will not.

You wanna walk round looking like that?

- Like what?

- Like a geriatric hippy.

See ya next week.

Goin' the wrong way.

Are you familiar with Forster?

Yes, of course. Superb.

Between you and me, I think he's crap.

- You're a student, aren't ya?

- Yes.

So am I.

Brian, why don't you get Elaine a refill?

And yourself, of course.

Well, as Frank hasn't arrived yet.

- Lovely record, Julie.

- Yes, isn't it?

I do hope Frank won't be too late.

God, I forgot -

I meant to phone my publisher.

- May I, Julia?

- Of course.

Shan't be a minute, dear.

All right, darling?

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