Eating Out Page #3

out there.

Not at all.

Liar.

You did look sorta goofy.

I did?

You ate p*ssy! You liked it!

F*** you!

I almost made it with ''British

Guy'' in a broom closet.

But he wouldn't kiss.

Maybe your breath was

penisy.

Can I make you a drink?

Did you want me to make you

a drink?

I'm gorgeous, not helpless.

it's not a sexist thing. I just

thought you might be... You, know stressed out.

Just get the f*** out of my

way.

Sorry.

Thanks hon, wanna mix one

for yourself?

F*** you.

She just brushed me off-

with a flame-thrower.

She's just like that at first.

You like them butch.

Would you stop being a total

zit and leave me alone.

What's taking so long?

Oh, hI Gwen.

You know this guy?

Yeah, this is Caleb. Caleb,

Gwen.

Sorry Caleb. it's been a night.

Nice to meet you.

Caleb's gay.

You're gay.

uh.

Yeah. He's kinda new.

Oh honey. That's so sweet.

You two together?

Oh no.

Not anymore. We're just

roommates.

Good.

We were never together.

Sorry.

Sometimes I can be a c*nt

and a half.

I thought you were a drunk

breeder boy

going forthe chick in despair.

Your shoes had me fooled.

Like I said, he's new.

Gwen.

HI Marc.

Kevin.

Kyle.

Marc, this is Caleb.

Hi.

He's family.

Nice to meet you, Caleb.

I'm sorry, I'm totally drunk.

No you're not. You're

designated driver.

No, I think you're wrong,

Gwen.

I was just meeting Gwen

and...

You new here?

He's my roommate. We

dated.

We didn't date.

Let's away, ourwork's done

here.

Where are you going?

What?

Let's give them some room

to breathe on each other.

I wanted to talk to Marc.

Not a chance with that

around, hon.

So...

You stole my boyfriend!

He's not your boyfriend.

Oh, so now you're gay?

it was your idea.

You knew how I felt about

him!

We're not doing anything.

You're going on a date!

That was his idea.

I've been stalking him for

years. You decide to be gay for one night-

I'm not gay! Why don't you

just tell him you like him?

That would be as futile as

drug testing at the Gay Games.

So you think you're gonna get

Gwen like this?

I don't know. I don't want to

go.

But he lives with her. I'll get

to see her again.

I can just tell her and get this

all sorted out.

Of course there goes any

chance I had with her.

And you live with me, so Marc

will have to come here. This could be parfait.

Go on a few dates with Marc,

the four of us hang.

You come to the sad

realization that you're straight.

You go running to Gwen, Marc

comes running to me.

Genius. I'll be your... goatee.

How do you know they'll do

that? Sounds ''etch-a-sketchy.''

No, it's parfait.

You don't understand human

nature the way I do. I'm a musician.

Who got you that date with

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