Easy A Page #2

---

Obviously they don't care.

Last year's cause celebre was

the changing of the school mascot.

Give it up for your Blue Devils!

Blue!

Blue Devil!

Yeah.

Yeah!

How can we exhibit school pride

when we're conveyed to others...

...as Satan worshippers?

Now, thankfully,

we're the much less intimidating...

Give it up for the Woodchucks!

Hey! Go, Woodchucks!

Woodchucks!

I liked Todd much better

when he was topless.

Yeah, but even dressed as a

woodchuck, I still fantasize about him.

Woodchucks.

Now Marianne had

a new cause celebre.

Me.

Which brings us to part two.

The accelerated velocity

of terminological inexactitude.

Which is really just my obnoxious way

of saying that lies travel fast.

And, boy, did my terminological

inexactitude accelerate with velocity.

Did you hear about Olive?

No way.

- She's not a virgin anymore?

- I can't believe it.

- Olive lost her virginity.

- Yeah.

Maybe next time a certain somebody

will be a little more careful...

...what she says in the water closet.

Yeah, about that? It's...

That's actually not what you think.

Can I talk to you alone

for a second?

- You gonna be okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you.

Bye, Nina.

What you heard in the bathroom

the other day wasn't true at all.

- It's actually a funny story.

- Olive. That's your name, right?

Yeah, yeah. And you're Marianne.

We've had nine classes together

since kindergarten.

Ten, if you count Religion

of Other Cultures, which you didn't...

...because you refused to go.

Yeah. Listen, I'm not the one

that you have to answer to...

...for your depraved behavior.

There's a higher power

that will judge you for your indecency.

Tom Cruise?

I hope for your sake

that God has a sense of humor.

Oh, I have 17 years' worth

of anecdotal proof he does.

You've made your bed.

I just hope for your sake

that you've cleaned the sheets.

- Did I just get saved?

- I missed you.

Oh, you too.

So Marianne spread the rumor.

For the first time ever, my sexual

exploits were the talk of the school.

Oh, you know what? I'm wrong.

It was the second time.

The first time was back

in 8th grade...

... when all I wanted was a kiss from

this guy I had always had a crush on.

Todd and I were thrown together

in Seven Minutes of Heaven.

Luckily we had a super romantic

song from our youth to set the mood.

I think this is the part...

...where you're supposed to

stick your tongue in my mouth.

That's what I've heard, anyway.

Just give me a second, okay?

According to my watch,

you have 382 of them.

- How do you do that?

- What?

Add so fast.

And you also talk like a grown-up.

Don't worry, I'm not nearly as smart

as I think I am.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes