Early Man Page #3
Bring him here.
(GRUNTS)
How dare you...
Oh. (GRUNTS)
How dare you set foot
on our hallowed ground?
You took our ground.
- Our home!
- (SCOFFS) Oh, that.
Listen, you Stone Age brute.
You have no home.
Your kind are finished
on this Earth.
Now take him away and kill him.
Slowly.
(CROWD LAUGHING)
Argh! No, I mean
take him away at normal speed
and kill him slowly. Idiots!
- (WHISTLE BLOWS)
- Now get on with the game.
VIKING CAPTAIN:
We challenge the champions!
Wait... Wait!
(YELLING)
- (GRUNTS)
- (AIR HISSING)
(ALL GASPING)
(DUG PANTING)
We challenge the champions!
- (ALL GASP)
- Huh?
What did you say?
- He said, "We challenge..."
- I heard what he said!
If we win, we keep our valley.
- (CROWD MURMURING)
- Hmm.
You think you can beat us
at football?
- (LAUGHING)
- (CROWD LAUGHING)
A match between
the Bronze and the brutes?
What an idea!
Sacrilege, O Premier Leader!
Yes. Quite.
such a vulgar spectacle. Pah!
Hmm...
Oh!
Really?
For the valley, you say?
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(ALL SOBBING)
HOGNOB:
Hmm?(HOGNOB BARKING)
(GASPS)
- Dug!
- ASBO:
It's Dug!- BARRY:
He's alive!- (EXCITED CHATTER)
Uh, what's that crazy fruit
he's got?
CHIEF BOBNAR:
"Football"?- What's "football"?
- (ALL GASP)
And how's it going to get
our valley back?
Well, it's this amazing game,
Chief.
And the leader
of the Bronze people,
he says if we play this game
and beat them at it...
Ooh, nice tight shorts!
Aw, Mum!
...we can have our valley back.
- (ALL GASP)
- That's what we want.
- And if we don't beat them?
- DUG:
Ah.Well, then,
he said we'll spend the rest
of our miserable lives
working down a mine.
No!
- What's a "mine"?
- CHIEF BOBNAR:
Dug,we've never even played
this game.
But that's just it.
We did. Once.
Huh?
Those cave paintings
back in our valley,
they're pictures of our
ancestors playing football.
- Champion!
- DUG:
So if they did it,surely we can do it.
(SNEEZES)
Sorry! Shimmering memories
make me sneeze.
This doesn't change anything,
Dug.
It's just too risky.
Oh, come on, Chief!
We can do it, Chief!
I wanna play football!
I wanna play now!
Now!
(STAMMERS) Listen...
No, we're not... No!
(ALL GROAN)
All right, then.
Yeah, we'll... (SNIFFLES)
We'll be okay.
We'll just die a slow and
lingering death in the Badlands.
Huh?
Come on, Chief.
Just give us a chance. Please!
(GRUNTS ENCOURAGINGLY)
(SIGHS) Look, all right.
(ALL GASP)
Maybe we'll give this
"football" idea a try, then.
(ALL CHEERING)
(WHOOPING)
(SCREAMS)
No promises, mind.
The match is to be played
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"Early Man" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/early_man_7397>.
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