Early Man Page #2

---

(YELPS)

(GASPING)

Uh...

(GASPS)

- (OX BRAYS)

- (GASPS)

CART DRIVER:
What are you doing?

Get out of the way!

Hey! Hey!

(GASPS)

TOOLMAKER:

Multi-purpose pen swords!

Very handy

for opening bottles, too!

Sliced bread. Wow!

That's the best thing since...

Well, ever!

- (CLANGING)

- (GROANS) Oh!

Hmm.

- (CLANGING)

- GOONA:
Hey!

- DUG:
Huh?

- Don't touch the bronze.

- The what?

- The bronze!

Where have you been,

the Stone Age?

Oh. Uh...

What?

- (BANGING GONG)

- (GASPS)

(CHANTING)

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

(ALL CHANTING)

ORDERLY:
Fifty schnookels!

Fifty schnookels!

Voluntary contribution.

Everyone has to pay!

MAN 1:
It's gone up again.

- MAN 2:
It's daylight robbery!

- Fifty schnookels!

Voluntary contribution!

Hey! She hasn't

voluntarily contributed.

GUARD:
Hmm? Stop her!

(SCREAMS)

- Hey. Hey.

- GUARD:
Oi! Stop her!

(PANTING)

(YELPING)

(GRUNTING)

(YELPING)

Whoa!

(SINGING)

Hmm?

(CHUCKLES) Hello. Oh!

(MAN SCREAMS)

(CRASHING)

- (METAL CLANGS)

- (MAN GROANS)

- (DOOR BANGS)

- DUG:
Sorry!

JURGEND:
(LAUGHS) I tell you,

I wouldn't want to

be facing me out there.

(MEN LAUGHING)

- (ARMOR CREAKING)

- (GROANING)

GONAD:
Hey, Hgelgraber,

can't you see in that thing?

The arena's this way.

(CROWD CHANTING)

You girls are gonna

get slaughtered. (LAUGHS)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

- (GROWLS)

GONAD:
Let's go!

(CALL AND RESPONSE CHANTING)

All stand for our mighty

leader, Lord Nooth!

- (CROWD CHEERING)

- (GASPS)

Who challenges the champions?

We challenge the champions!

We accept the challenge!

- (CROWD CHEERING)

- (BOTH GROWLING)

The hour has come.

(DRUMS BEATING)

Let the sacred game commence!

ANNOUNCER:

Introducing Real Bronzio

and the captain, Jurgend!

Today's match official,

Referee Dino!

LORD NOOTH:
In the name

of Queen Oofeefa,

we give thanks

for the beautiful game.

Oggy! Oggy! Oggy!

CROWD:
Oi! Oi! Oi!

Let's play football!

- (CROWD CHEERING)

- (BLOWS WHISTLE)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Whilst I count my schnookels.

(DUG GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

Hgelgraber!

What are you doing?

Get in the goal!

What's up with Hgelgraber?

Come on!

Pick it up! Pick it up!

To me! To me!

What? Put it down!

Put it down!

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

Free kick!

Hgelgraber!

Just get in the game!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

(SLO-MO VOICE) Just kick it!

(HEART THUMPING)

(CROWD GASPS)

- (CROWD GASPING)

- Huh?

(CROWD SHOUTING)

(ALL CHEERING)

Huh? (SCREAMS)

(DUG GRUNTS)

What are you doing,

Hgelgraber?

You just scored an own goal!

(PLAYERS CHEERING)

HGELGRABER:
He's not me!

- Huh?

- (CROWD GASPS)

(WOLF-WHISTLE)

- Oh!

- (CROWD GASPS)

- Huh?

- (CHUCKLES)

A caveman?

- A caveman?

- CROWD:
A caveman?

Playing the sacred game?

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote