Dunston Checks In Page #2

Thank you.

Now... go to your room.

(blows raspberry)

I'm not debating this. You move!

I'm a liberal parent.

Have it your own way.

God forbid I should spoil your fun.

Go to your room!

(whimpers)

Spare the rod and spoil the monkey.

(whimpering)

Dubrow alert.

- Dubrow alert?

- Dubrow alert!

- Dubrow alert.

- Dubrow alert.

Dubrow alert!

Dubrow alert!

Dubrow al...

Lobby three degrees too cold.

Doorman slow to open car door.

Two crushed butts in ashtray number one.

Make that four degrees too cold.

Victor.

Come along, darling.

You look beautiful, don't you?

Mrs. Dubrow! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...

- Shh. Quite all right.

- "(dog yaps)"

I'm taking him to his analyst.

Don't let me keep you...

"Consuelo."

I'm sorry.

Consuelo.

So I knocked on the trunk,

and it knocked back...

(phone rings)

- Hello.

- "Dubrow alert".

- Dubrow alert!

- Wait, I'm not done.

Yes, you are. She doesn't like kids.

She once kicked Big Bird in the nuts.

Damn! Ooh...

Dad!

Dad! Dad, put me down! Dad, put me down!

- Dad!

- Under the desk!

Robert.

Mrs. Dubrow.

Ooh! Little roll in the carpet.

What a pleasant surprise.

- Mr. Dubrow, nice to see you, sir.

- Fluffy towels.

I beg your pardon?

Read the cards, Robert.

Got to keep up on the cards

so you know what our guests want.

Know what they want? Huh?

Know what they want?

- Fluffy towels?

- That's right.

Nice fluffy towels.

Talk to the laundry immediately.

Victor, darling, sit down

and work on your cards.

Robert, we have some very exciting news.

- Uh...

- "(laughs)" Doesn't it look great?

- What do you think?

- Well, it's wonderful, Mrs. Dubrow.

But the "Le Monde" people might not

appreciate us just addinga sixth star.

No, no. The "Le Monde" people

have decided to award a sixth star

to the most elite hotels in the world.

Now, I have it on good authority

they have a person here "now".

The "Le Monde" people have

a representative here now? This week?

Of course. This week.

The Crystal Ball

is the social event of the season.

I want that sixth star.

Are we very clear on that?

I will be very upset if I don't get it.

I understand.

Good. And next week, when every travel

section in the country interviews us,

I want you in the picture with me.

Next week...

Could you excuse me for just a second?

Uh, ah...

Oh, yes, yes.

I... I am scheduled for a vacation next week.

No, no, no, no!

Ow!

Uh... banged my knee. Trick knee.

Robert, I need you here.

Dad, you promised!

If you want to kill me, just kill me. Pick

something up and beat me over the head.

Why is he talking to his crotch?

Is there a problem, Robert?

No. No.

Dad!

Uh, well, yes, um... actually, Mrs. Dubrow.

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