Dumb and Dumber To Page #3

a phone number or address,

or nothing. And who we fooling?

Even if I find him,

my kid's never met me.

Why would he wanna give me a kidney?

Are you serious?

After all you've done for him?

It's the least he can do.

What have I ever done for him?

You gave him his space. Kids love that.

I didn't wanna be a helicopter parent.

And you filled him with wonder.

Wonder? Yeah.

Like, "I wonder who my deadbeat dad is?"

Oh, it's okay, Lloyd.

I've had a full life.

I was a paperboy for a week.

I fathered a child.

I've seen every episode of Full House.

Wow!

Every episode?

Okay, Okay-

So how are we gonna do this?

If we find Fraida, we find your kid.

If we find your kid,

we find your kidney.

Simple.

Yeah, but I never even

knew where Fraida lived.

I didn't have a car. She always

had to pick me up in her van.

Didn't you meet her

through Pete Stainer?

Who? Pee-Stain!

He'll know how to reach her.

Yeah, but I haven't talked to

Pee-Stain in a hundred years!

I can't drop by his house

in the middle of the night

and ask him for some chick's number.

Sure you can!

Oh, okay. But we gotta

be sub-tull about it.

The word is pronounced "subtle," Harry.

It's a silent

What was that for?

You had a gah-nat on you.

Maybe we should catch a

bus to Pee-Stain's house.

We can't. We got the bike.

Oh, that's okay. They got bike

racks on the front of buses now.

Cool.

Perfect.

That's very convenient.

Hey, guys!

You forgot your bike!

Oh, it's not ours. Somebody

abandoned it in front of our place.

Yeah. Just left it there

double-chained to a tree.

Hey, Har.

You wanna hear the second most

annoying sound in the world?

Sure.

Yeah, that's pretty annoying.

No, not that.

What the hell are you doing

ringing our doorbell like that

in the middle of the night?

That!

Mr. Stainer. Mrs.

Stainer. Nice to see you.

Harry, Lloyd.

To what do we owe the honor

at this late hour, gentlemen?

We were just wondering if Pee-Stain

wanted to come out for some suds.

And maybe have his ass handed to him

in a couple of games of Dig Dug.

Lloyd.

Peter is dead.

Yeah, right. Since when?

Since 1991. Remember?

The motorcycle accident?

But I thought he pulled through.

The obituary said he was

survived by his parents.

Uh, no. He did not pull through.

Are you sure?

Yes.

on, yeah.

You guys are right.

Anyway. Sorry about that whole thing.

Pee-Stain and I were

very close friends.

Yeah, we know.

You're the one who

sold him the motorcycle.

And if I recall,

I made him a sweet deal.

My bike for his helmet, straight up.

That thing was a rocket.

A little squirrelly on the corners,

but when you got it on a straightaway...

Good night, Lloyd. Good night, Harry.

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