Due Date Page #2

ETHAN:
I'm trying to be informative.

PETER:
lt's not cool.

Would you and your friend mind

stepping to the front of the plane?

My friend?

I'm sorry, I need you

to come with me, please.

Listen. This clown,

I've never seen before in my life.

That's not true.

We switched bags at curbside.

-That was an accident. And he had--

MAN:
Sir!

Federal air marshal.

Please step to the front of the plane.

What? Why?

Drop the device.

-lt's not a device, it's a BlackBerry.

-Drop the device!

What are you gonna do, rent-a-cop?

Shoot me--?

[CROWD SCREAMS]

It's okay, everyone. He'll be fine.

It's only a rubber bullet.

[APPLAUDlNG]

Good news, Mr. Highman.

They found your bags on the airplane.

-Oh, good.

-Unfortunately, that plane's over Kansas.

-Figures.

-But l do have your cell phone for you.

Now, if you wouldn't mind just signing this.

It's a simple release.

So l don't sue you.

Just saying we acted in accordance

with state law.

-Sure did.

-Good.

If you put your address there,

I'll have your bags shipped.

Let them land at LAX and l'll pick them up

when l get there. When's the next flight?

-ln an hour, but you won't be on it.

-Why's that?

You're on the No-Fly list.

-Why?

-lt says right here.

-You and your friend.

-Who?

-The gentleman l just interviewed.

-l've never seen that dipshit before.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-He had nice things to say about you.

-l'm on a No-Fly list? This is ridiculous.

-Regardless--

-No.

I have a pregnant wife, I have to get back.

This is a huge misunderstanding.

-What am l supposed to do?

-Have you ever seen Forrest Gump?

Yes.

Well, he ran across country,

and he was pretty stupid.

So l have faith in you.

You're free to leave.

SARAH [OVER PHONE]:

What kind of incident?

PETER:

I'm probably overstating.

It's the manageable kind.

A micro-incident.

But it unfortunately landed me

on a No-Fly list.

What did you do, Peter?

Did you snap at somebody?

Nope. I did not. l was cool,

calm and collected the whole time.

I was completely in my rights.

You get so carried away sometimes.

How are you gonna get home?

I have a plan.

And the plan is sorting itself out.

-But my wallet is traveling.

-What?

The ID's in it, l've been trying

to rent a car, I had the office fax--

But l am exhausting any

and all opportunities to--

[CAR ALARM WAlLS]

Hey! I've been looking all over for you.

-Stay away from me.

ETHAN:
But I found something of yours.

Honey, this might all be solved.

I'll call you right back.

Peter?

You got my stuff?

-l grabbed it before they zip-tied me.

-Rally Monkey?

-You get my wallet?

-l didn't see it.

Where's my bag?

I saw your bag, but I didn't grab it

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