Drugstore Cowboy Page #2

---

Well, right now, baby,

I'm so hot, I'm burnin' up all over.

All right, buster.

If you're so damn hot, why don't you lay

me down right now and make love to me?

- Come on. You know what I mean.

- Yeah, I know what you mean.

So, did you watch I Spy last night?

No, I watched Outer Limits.

I'm hot to steal. Shoot,

we could do that any time. Come on.

Besides, we got company.

So, do you think you could get me a TV?

- Yeah, I could.

- Colour?

Yeah, but what could

you do for me, man?

How about some Valium, man?

You look like you could use it.

- Ten milligrams. 60 Valium.

- That's cool.

Well, listen.

Don't tell Bob.

I won't tell Bob. F*** that guy.

Hey, twerpy. We're gonna fix you up now.

You guys got any blues?

Blues? Me? Hell, no. You know how hard

it is to get blues these days, David.

How about some morphine?

I got good old morphine.

What'd you get, man?

Morphine sulphate?

You're crazy, man, cos I can't even

read a stop sign when I'm on that crap.

My eyes get so far out of focus.

Besides, I'm not trading no uptown

crank for no downtown trash.

What can I say? That's all

I got. That's all I can give.

That's bullshit, man.

You guys think I'm dumb.

I'm not as dumb as you think I am.

Hey, David? Too bad

we couldn't do business, pal.

All right, man. F***. I'm sorry, OK?

- I didn't mean any of that.

- It's OK. It's all right.

So how many quarter grains of that

morphine are you gonna give me for this?

I'll hit you with nine quarters per package,

and that's just cos I'm feeling good.

And because you're a real stand-up dude,

I'll take all ten grams from you.

Ten grams? All right. That's nine

apiece. Nine times ten is, uh...

It's, uh, 75.

Yeah, 75. Right.

It's 90, Bob.

Yeah, Bob. That's 90.

Hey, Bob, how much do you want

for her? How much of this for her?

Huh?

How much of this do you want

for the foxy female?

Hey. What do you think I am?

Some kind of closet pimp?

I've never heard of such a violation

of woman's rights in all my life.

Just out of curiosity, how many bags

of speed would you give me for this girl?

I, uh... I don't know.

You twerp! You touch me and

I'll knock your block off.

She's mean, man.

All right, all right.

Let's finish this deal.

- Sorry.

- Pick up your stuff, David, and go.

We've got some things to do.

All right. Sorry, Dianne. Here, Bob.

Yeah.

- All right, man.

- All right. Thanks.

All right. You guys have a good evening.

Next time you step in the middle of one of

my deals to help me with my arithmetic,

I'll sell you to the first one-eyed carnival

freak I find for a pack of chewing gum.

Look at me, babe. I'm hysterical.

Sorry, Bob.

Just try to remember. Was it

Rate this script:3.5 / 2 votes