Drinksgiving Page #2

---

You know she's still angling for me to help her tonight.

What, oh, my god what,

you didn't go over there tonight?

You're such a terrible daughter.

I know.

I can actually picture over there

like in a cashmere sweater clutching her pearls crying

and basting a Turkey with her tears.

Do not let that woman fool you

she has it all under control.

She doesn't need my help.

I need your help and we did it together.

Yay!

Teamwork makes the dream work.

- No.

- Yes.

- No.

- Yes it's awesome.

That's terrible.

Oh, my god!

I gotta go potty, I gotta go potty.

I thought you didn't have any money?

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, my god.

What's up?

Some a**hole keeps pranking me.

Pranking you, people still do that?

Yeah some idiot is calling me like a couple times a week

and he just hangs up.

Okay Sarah, you have a cellphone,

you can check the caller ID.

It keeps coming up as unknown.

Because I'm never gonna get an unknown number again

I'm never gonna get a job offer.

Okay, don't stress out quite yet.

Come on, come on.

Wait, wait.

Egads it's time to get dressed, okay, come on.

Will you turn on my curling iron?

I get it first.

Hey can you get that?

Jake?

Jake?

- Hey.

- Hi.

- Come in.

- Thank you.

The party starts at seven right?

Yeah, you're really punctual.

Can I get you a glass of wine or I haven't opened anything.

I assume you have Riesling.

Oh, by the way I am cutting myself off after a few drinks.

I have to help my mother with dinner tomorrow.

What is this?

Oh god, she would not know what to do without me.

Plus my famous oyster stuffing is always popular so.

No I'll grab that for you.

- Okay.

- Oh yeah, you're a guest.

Oh, I bet it's warm.

I've got great ice cubes.

That's perfect.

So you look great.

Oh gosh, thank you.

I can't find my Pearl earrings anywhere

so I'm just wearing my diamonds and feel flustered.

Hey Sarah, when semen hardens do you...

oh.

You're early.

Sarah I think you have a fungus in your house.

Yeah, well.

Fun guy.

Here you go, actually I'll just keep that.

Thank you.

Sarah did you paint that dog thing up there?

I did.

It looked kinda home done.

I'll put that on the Etsy posting.

So it'll be good to see Kelsey again.

Oh, has it been a while for you?

Yeah well she told me that they would be here

after they had dinner with their parents.

God I hope more people show up.

So Kelsey's got a new man.

He seems cool, like from Facebook.

Yeah actually he's really nice.

He's certainly not somebody I would expect

to be doing, you know?

Doing, what?

You know what, I'm gonna let her tell you this one.

I'm gonna go check on the refrigerator.

What happened?

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote