Down to Earth Page #2

Synopsis: It seems everyone is trying to get into heaven; at least those whose time is up. For Lance Barton, a struggling comedian and bicycle messenger, it's the last thing on his mind. His due date upstairs is 50 years away. In the meantime, he's got big dreams to pursue on Earth, such as landing a slot at the final Amateur Night Contest at the famed Apollo Theatre. Lance's has one little problem though - he ain't that funny. Thanks to an over-cautious emissary from heaven, Mr. Keyes, he's going to get hit (literally) with a much bigger problem. Showing that even God has difficulty finding good help these days, the inept minion mistakenly plucks Lance from a traffic accident - before it takes place. Transporting him to the Pearly Gates, or more accurately, the velvet roped-lines of the hottest club around, the error is finally addressed by Mr. King, the streetwise, no-nonsense head angel who manages the place from his plush windowed office. Since returning to his own body on Earth is impossibl
Genre: Comedy, Fantasy
Director(s): Chris Weitz, Paul Weitz
Production: Paramount Pictures
  3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.4
Metacritic:
32
Rotten Tomatoes:
20%
PG-13
Year:
2001
87 min
$63,095,559
Website
409 Views


- Where are you going? | - I gotta wake up. I got an audition.

- Let me explain. You're not dreaming. | - I gotta get to the Comic Strip.

- Do you know where the "A" train is? | - Mr. Barton?

- Mr. Barton, here's the thing- | - Keyes, what's the problem?

Oh, Mr. King. No problem, sir.

I have everything under control.

Mr. Barton here was, uh, | having a great time.

No, actually, | I'm trying to wake myself up.

I hate to break it to you, chum,

You're dead. Capisce?

- I'm not dead. | - Lance, come here.

What you're feeling right now | is totally normal.

For most people, dying is | a real shock to the system.

But, baby, it's gonna get better.

It's heaven, baby. The food is great,

the women are beautiful,

and the music, Lance- | the music is hot.

Yes, sir, the fun never stops.

That's great, but I'm not dead.

Look, I got an audition coming up | that I know I'm gonna make.

So you guys can just fix whatever | mistake you made and get me home.

Serge.

Could you check the list and see | when Mr. Barton is arriving?

Barton, Barton, | Barton, Barton. Ah.

Due November 17, 2044,

30a. m., | Eastern Standard Time.

2044?

You could've just given me the year. | Leave a brother a little doubt.

I took him one-tenth of a second before | the truck hit. He couldn't have made it.

What am I gonna do with you?

First, you make Frank Sinatra | wait for a table.

He didn't have a jacket.

He's Frank Sinatra! | He can wear whatever he wants!

- You killed me! You killed me! | - Hey! Hey!

- You killed me! You killed me! | - Hey! Hey! Come on.

Now, Mr. King has been | in charge up here for quite some time.

I don't think there's anything | he can't handle.

- You guys can fix this, right? | - Lance, look,

I pride myself | on being a straight shooter.

For guys that lived a bad life, | I don't mince words.

I tell them to go to hell, literally.

You, on the other hand, | I like you.

You're what you call- | You're very, um-

You're very, um- | what's the word- very, um-

- Funny? | - No. You're spunky.

- Spunky? What the- | - Spunky.

So here's the story. | Your body's gone.

Adios, sayonara, comprende?

- But I spoke to my boss. | - You talked to God?

Yeah. What we can do for you | is put you in somebody else's body,

as long as no one knows | he's dead yet, okay?

Wait a minute. How am I supposed | to do my act in somebody else's body?

Lance, this is all part | of some, like, grand plan.

- Really? | - Yeah, sure.

Anyway, come on. | Let's go find you a body.

- This one's kind of like a fixer-upper. | - I don't think so.

How about this one? | He's physically fit.

- He's got nice pecs. | - Big's not funny.

Nobody wants to laugh at a guy | who could whip their ass.

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Chris Rock

Christopher Julius Rock is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, producer and director. After working as a stand-up comedian and appearing in supporting film roles, Rock came to wider prominence as a cast member of Saturday Night Live in the early 1990s. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Down to Earth" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/down_to_earth_7192>.

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