Down Terrace Page #2

- Take a f***ing dig, Eric!

- Feel that.

- It's soft as shite.

- Oh, you bastard!

I forgot to pick

the kids up.

- Bill:
Oh, a man out of time.

- Sh*t.

- Eric:
What's happened?

- ( phone vibrating )

Oh, that's them

outside now.

I'd better go.

Bill:

Who's out there?

- Karl:
It's his missus.

- Bill:
Is she coming in?

No no no.

I'd better go.

I gotta feed the kids

and that, but--

Is that Helen?

I ain't seen her in years.

Yeah yeah.

We gotta go.

Well, uh, nice one.

Well done and everything.

- Yeah, well done.

- Cheers, Garv.

Yeah, see you later.

See you, Maggie.

See you, everyone.

Cheers, Garv.

Have a good one, mate.

She looks

absolutely furious.

Bill:
Give 'em a kiss

for me, Garv.

Eric:
She's fit--

his missus, mate.

- Hoo-hoo.

- Karl:
That's his old missus.

His new missus is like

a hippo-croco-pig.

( all chuckling )

- Eric:
A bit shortsighted.

- Looks a bit like him in a lady mirror.

Bill:
A female version of Garvey.

Can you imagine it?

Give us one of those beers.

Oh, these are from Garvey.

- Good old Garvin, eh?

- Bill:
Yeah, cheers.

- What a little superstar.

- Eric:
He's shaken 'em up, hasn't he?

He's totally f***ing

depth-charged me.

Why don't you just pour it

over the carpet?

- ( urinating )

- Karl. Oi.

- Yeah? Hello, mate.

- Come here, I've got something to show you.

Hold on a second.

By the way, when are

you coming back to work?

Soon. Just got to be

a bit careful, that's all.

Well, you need

to hurry up.

I'm running round

like a blue-ass fly.

This thing don't

run itself, you know?

- Everything's going all right though, yeah?

- Yeah.

A bit of trouble in Whitehawk,

but otherwise shway shway.

- Sweet.

- Come on out.

I've got something

to show you.

You are coming back

to work, aren't you?

- Yeah, I told you. I'm coming in.

- ( toilet flushes )

So I don't have to run this whole

bloody operation by myself.

Get in there. I've got something

to show you.

- They're not gonna come up, are they?

- Doubt it.

Oh, f***ing hell! It's gone right through

the lining on my jacket.

- What's that, Eric?

- A f***ing gun, mate.

- Got it off Don the Gun.

- F*** off.

That looks

totally real, man.

( laughs ) It is f***ing totally real.

What are you talking about?

- You serious?

- It's a real gun, yeah.

- I just bought it for 200 quid.

- ( gun clicking )

Are you serious?

This is a real shooter?

Yeah, it's a real shooter.

I just bought it.

I just told you.

I need it, don't I?

- What, you never seen a f***ing gun before?

- Eric, Eric,

are you out of your

f***ing mind, mate?

What?

- Put it away and take it home.

- All right, all right.

Well, he's not going

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