Dorfman Page #2

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BE CRAZY.

WHERE IS ROYAL CLAYTON'S?

GOOGLE. OK.

THIS IS LIKE A FELONY TO ME.

SO TRY TALKING TO IT.

OH. OK.

CIAO.

BYE.

IT TAKES A VILLAGE

TO RAISE A CHILD.

IN MOGADISHU, SOMALIA,

THE REBEL GROUP AL-SHABAAB

IS RAISING CHILD SOLDIERS.

MOST ARE ORPHANS

FROM THE CIVIL WAR,

HUNGRY AND HOPELESS

WITH NO SCHOOLS,

NO EMPLOYMENT,

AND NO SOCIAL SKILLS...

I LOVE HIM.

("HOW ARE YOU DOING?"

BY THE LIVING SISTERS PLAYS)

(APPLAUSE ON TV)

ALL RIGHT, POP,

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN TONIGHT.

-'CAUSE I GOT A MIXER

AT THE TEMPLE.

-LIAR.

THERE'S CHICKEN SOUP

ON THE STOVE.

YOU JUST NEED TO REHEAT IT.

I HAVE NO APPETITE.

OK. YOU'RE GOING

TO WANT TO TRY IT.

I ADDED A NEW INGREDIEN TO MOM'S RECIPE.

RAT POISON?

("GO AWAY" BY THE NUCC PLAYS)

OH. CLOSE.

-ALL RIGHT, WHO'S UP NEXT?

-HEY.

-YOU MADE IT!

-YEAH. HI!

THESE ARE MY NEW NEIGHBORS.

CHELSEA AND VRONKA.

THIS IS DEB.

HI.

I LOVE YOUR DRESSES.

SO DID YOU GET YOUR ASSIGNMENT?

STILL WAITING TO HEAR.

WAITING. WAITING.

OH, PLEASE. TOSS ME CRUMB.

LIKE FILTHY PIG DOG.

THAT CRAZY B*TCH IS BIPOLAR.

OK. YOU GIRLS PLAY NICE

OR GO HOME.

THIS CITY IS NOT MY HOME.

KRAKOW IS HOME.

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

OH, A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY.

I'M FROM THE VALLEY.

EW.

(PHONE VIBRATES)

-VIBRATING. THIS COULD BE KABUL.

-OH.

-IT'S MY PRODUCER.

ANDREW, YES, HEY.

UH, WAIT 'TIL I GET OUTSIDE.

GOD, HE'S SO BRAVE.

SO ARE YOU IN TO JAY?

THAT BOY IS SO HOT.

NO, WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.

HE'S BEST FRIENDS

WITH MY OLDER BROTHER.

AND SO HE REALLY THINKS OF ME

AS A LITTLE SISTER.

YOU KNOW, SO HE JUST CALLS ME

WHENEVER HE NEEDS A PEP TALK.

BUT WHEN HE DOES CALL,

IT'S SORT OF LIKE

TIME STANDS STILL.

NOT THAT--NOT THAT I BELIEVE

IN THAT CRAP. (SNORTS)

WHAT DO YOU DO, VALLEY GIRL?

I'M AN ACCOUNTANT.

WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?

WHAT DO YOU DO?

YOU'RE SOME SORT OF

PROFESSIONALS, I'M GUESSING.

WE'RE MODELS.

OH. THAT'S EXCITING.

YOU KNOW,

WE NEED A NEW ACCOUNTANT.

OUR GUY IS ALWAYS IN REHAB.

OH, WELL, YOU SHOULD CALL ME.

HERE, I'LL GIVE YOU MY CARD.

I'M NEVER IN REHAB.

"DEBORAH DORFMAN."

OH. YOU'RE JEWISH ACCOUNTANT,

HUH?

-IS THAT A PROBLEM?

-NO. IT'S MORE LIKE, YOU KNOW.

CLICHE.

WHAT, LIKE YOU BEING

A POLISH ANTI-SEMITE?

-I'M SORRY.

-SUCH EXCELLENT RETORT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I LOVE THIS B*TCH.

-OH.

-DORFMAN.

YES? WELL, KABUL?

-I LEAVE SUNDAY.

-YES!

-GO GET 'EM, JAY.

-OH, I WILL.

OH, MY CAT.

WELL, I CAN'T BOARD ELMER.

HE'LL FREAK.

OH, ELMER.

HEY, YOU GUYS,

COULD YOU WATCH HIM FOR ME

WHILE I'M GONE?

-I'M ALLERGIC TO CATS.

-I DON'T DO LITTER.

I DO CATS AND I DO LITTER.

SO I DON'T DO CATS. UM.

CLEAN--I CAN--

I WOULD LIKE TO WATCH YOUR CAT.

YOU WOULD DO THAT FOR ME?

YES. I WOULD DO

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