Don Verdean Page #3

Synopsis: Hired by an ambitious small-town pastor to find sacred relics in the Holy Land, a self-proclaimed Biblical archaeologist comes up short and his attempt to cover up his failure fuels a comic conspiracy from the filmmaking team behind Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre. DON VERDEAN stars Sam Rockwell, Amy Ryan, Jemaine Clement, Leslie Bibb, with Will Forte, and Danny McBride.
Director(s): Jared Hess
Production: Lionsgate Films
 
IMDB:
5.4
Metacritic:
39
Rotten Tomatoes:
30%
PG-13
Year:
2015
90 min
$30,525
Website
170 Views


Now, you see, these

younger generations, Don,

they need proof. Okay?

They need hard evidence

in these dark, dark, times.

And I believe that the

Lord has been preparing you.

The Lord wants you to be His...

His instrument in this great work.

Now, what I'm proposing, Don,

is that you allow us

to participate with you in this great work

by letting us bankroll

all your future digs and projects.

( CHURCH BELL TOLLING )

I honestly don't know what to say.

Any artifact you would find, you would...

you would bring it here and we'd

present it to our congregation.

And we'd put it on display for

the whole world to see His truth.

It'd be like a little museum of

sorts here at the Lazarus Fellowship.

JOYLINDA:
It would

be like a Holy Land

set in the good ol', U.S. of A.

Right here, where it

should be. Not over there.

Well, Tony, I think it's very clear to me

that the hand of... Providence

has... brought us to this juncture.

I-I think it's fair to say this

might be a match made in heaven.

TONY:
Oh, I was hopin'

you were gonna say that.

Don, we have been prayin'

so long and hard for this,

and we would love nothin' more than

to begin this adventure immediately.

Well, today's your lucky day.

I believe I have a solid lead

on the location of Lot's wife.

- ( MURMURING )

- You gotta be kiddin' me.

( BRIEFCASE CLICKS OPEN )

DON:
Two weeks ago my sources

inside Israel sent me this.

Approximately three furlongs to the south

of where I discovered the sulfuric

remains of Sodom and Gomorrah.

( TONY SIGHS )

This is incredible.

Have the Israelis tested

this for salt content?

The sample taken to the lab

indicated that this structure

was made up of 97% sodium chloride.

I was told that's the purest

salt they've ever tested.

( SIGHS )

I don't know what to say.

I mean, Don, you've

actually found Lot's wife.

( JOYLINDA CRYING )

- ( JOYLINDA HYPERVENTILATING )

- It's all right, sweetheart.

( JOYLINDA CRYING )

When can we bring her here?

- ( THUNDER RUMBLES )

- ( PHONE LINE RINGING )

( MAN ON PHONE SPEAKING HEBREW )

Hi, shalom, Boaz?

- It's Don Verdean.

- ( ANIMAL BELLOWING )

I can... I can barely hear you.

- ( ANIMAL BELLOWS )

- Boaz, it's Don Verdean

from America. How are ya?

Shem, sheket. Sheket!

DON ON PHONE:
Shalom

from... can you hear me?

No, tell the camel, "Shut up."

The camel keep talking.

Boaz, it's Don Verdean from America.

- How are ya?

- Hello, Don.

- Ah, yes, it's me, Boaz.

- ( CAMEL BELLOWING )

Uh, what's up, man?

Well, uh, good news. You

remember that pillar of salt

you and your brother found out

in the desert two weeks ago?

- ( CAMEL BELLOWS )

- Well, I need you to ship it to me.

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Jared Hess

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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