Don Verdean Page #2

years. I feel like I already know ya.

Well, it's a real pleasure to be here.

I-I-I tell

you what, I...

Well, this is my beautiful wife, Joylinda.

- Oh.

- I've seen the pictures.

Lovely to meet you.

I bet these hands have touched all kinds

- of sacred relics.

- Yes, ma'am.

Just a few.

And who's your wonderful companion?

Who? Oh, yes! I'm sorry.

This is my car... uh,

secretary. Carol Jensen.

- Carol? Oh, that's a lovely name.

- DON:
Yes.

- Thank you.

- We're just so happy you two could be here.

Please, please, y'all, come have a seat.

We're so grateful you're

here. We have much to discuss.

- Come take a seat.

- Whoo!

- ( SIGHS )

- I feel it!

Well, Don, it should be no surprise to you

that we are all big fans.

I mean, perhaps your biggest fans.

We've seen all the DVDs,

read all your books.

There is no one in the

world that does what you do.

Well, thank you, Tony.

I've been very fortunate.

TONY:
Well, God knows

what He's doin'.

Don, if you would bear with

me, I'm just gonna go ahead

and cut to the chase and tell

you why I brought you here.

As I'm sure you're aware,

church attendance in America

has been on a massive

decline in recent years.

And I've felt the effects of that

right here in my very own congregation.

Slowly but surely, this

nation is becommin' godless,

and it's frightening.

I mean, not to mention the

fact that there is a...

a new church that has sprung

up mere blocks from here.

The pastor there has been

siphonin' my flock for months now.

You know, he's a former

Satanist turned Christian.

Oh, people are really

taken by his story.

Oh, yes, but I fear he's

leadin' them down the wrong path.

You see,

he holds them with...

with a fear of the occult.

That's how he keeps his numbers up,

and that is not a good foundation.

And right now, Don, people need

a good foundation more than ever.

You got that right.

False prophets aside,

there are some evil factions

"withinside" the scientific community

that are dead-set upon

destroyin' the truth.

You know, the other day I

was walkin' down the street

and this man told me... he said,

"Did you know that we have

evolved from protozoas?"

Do you know what a protozoa is?

No, I do not.

It's a God dong sea monkey.

- Say what?

- Can you imagine that?

Lookin' around at the loved ones...

at your mother, at your

father, at your beautiful wife,

and sayin', "You're a sea monkey."

You belong on the bookshelf of a child

that's going to neglect you

and watch you swim around for a few days

and then end up falling to the bottom

"of the sea monkey aquarium

and turning into dust."

Holy Ghost power. That's awful.

Did you evolve from that, Don?

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