Don't Give Up the Ship Page #2

As a matter of fact, I wish you

would because my wife is...

Excuse me, sir.

Are you mad at me?

Mad at you?

Nonsense.

All I want is a full confession!

Confession?

Sir.

As representative of the

Judge Advocate General

I request Lieutenant Steckler be formally

advised of the charges against him.

The char..ch...

Did he say charges?

Certainly.

Why do you think you were called?

To receive a medal?

Well, very honestly sir,

I did think I was...

Maybe a little one.

I've never seen anyone like him.

Go ahead commander, read the charges.

- Lieutenant John Paul Steckler.

- The seventh, sir.

Lieutenant John Paul Steckler VII?

My brother was supposed to be the seventh,

but he turned out to be my sister.

- See, they were expecting a boy...

- Read the charges!

Lieutenant...

during World War II, some government

property charged out to you

and for which you're therefor

responsible, was not turned in.

It's still missing.

Well, just a minute, Commander,

sir, I never took anything in my...

What's the matter, Lieutenant?

Nothing. Nothing, sir.

It's just that I, I never

thought it'd be missed.

Everyone was taking souvenirs.

Weren't they?

Wouldn't you say you went just

a little too far, Lieutenant?

No, I don't think so, sir. I

mean, it wasn't important stuff.

Well, it was my compass, sexton...

and patented Spam opener.

Wasn't there something else, Lieutenant?

Alright, I'm not gonna lie.

I'm guilty and I think the best

thing for me to do is just

pay up and get this thing over with.

So, if you'll tell me how

much it is, I'll pay.

Tell him, Commander.

The total amount comes to...

Five million, four hundred and fifteen thousand,

nine hundred and twenty five dollars.

Wh..wha...

I think he's trying to ask you something.

What did I take?

One fully equipped...

sea-worthy and battle-ready...

destroyer escort.

Oh, come now, son.

Your government doesn't

want to be tough on you.

But, just tell us...

what did you do with the U.S.S. Kornblatt?

I didn't take it.

I didn't take her.

I haven't got her.

Honest.

Pinky swear. Scout's honor.

Where would I ever...

I didn't...

Honest.

Frisk me!

Five million dollars.

How can I ever pay five million dollars?

Even if they took...

thirty dollars a month it would take...

nine hundred and fifty thousand months.

Thirty dollars into nine

hundred and fifty thousand...

Oh, I forgot to carry the one.

Five million into...

Thirty, even if they start with

this month, the thirty dollars...

I don't think I have enough.

It's twenty nine dollars

for the bus tickets...

Let me see how much...

maybe...

Five million..

Hear that?

He thinks he's got five million

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