Doing Time on 'The Longest Yard' Page #2

---

Okay. With what?

That wasn't nice.

When the warden asks you,

what are you gonna say?

Yes?

You're gonna tell him "no."

You got it?

You're gonna tell the warden

that you want nothing to do

with his football fantasies.

Not in my back yard.

Because the warden

don't run this prison. I do.

You understand?

Not entirely.

Okay. I feel you, dog. I feel you.

Paul "Wrecking" Crewe.

I don't get to say this

to my new guests very often,

but it's an honor to have you

here at this institution.

It's an honor to be

locked up here, sir.

Oh, well, this is Errol Dandridge.

Colonel Sanders

been eating his own chicken.

He's my political adviser.

See, I've been approached

by several very influential people

wondering if I'd be interested

in standing for governor.

They see the way I run this prison,

think maybe I should run this state.

Only with less sodomy, right?

Hopefully none.

Sorry.

Now, there are two things we take very

seriously here in the state of Texas.

Prison and football.

We play a little of the latter here.

The warden is too modest to admit

that his team is rather good.

But not good enough.

Five years since

our last championship.

Five years.

Now, I've worked real hard,

pulled strings,

called in quite a few favors

to get you here, Paul.

Now, why would you go and do that?

Because I am convinced that

you can get us back on track.

I haven't played football in I don't

know how long. I don't really want to.

You wouldn't be playing, Paul.

Just consulting.

Anyone who was once the MVP

of the National Football League

must have a great deal

of expertise to offer.

Captain, what would you say

to Mr. Crewe looking in,

giving us the benefit

of his experience?

I think that's a real good idea, warden.

We can use all the help we can get.

Well, then, it's all settled.

What you say, Paul?

I appreciate the offer,

but I'm gonna have to pass.

Now, I can assure you

that your time here will be a whole

lot easier if you just participate.

I just wanna do my time

and go home. Nothing else.

If you'll excuse us, Mr. Crewe.

Captain Knauer, you can stay.

Sit down!

I used to love

your underwear commercials.

Thank you very much.

My ex-husband wore the

same brand of tighty whities.

He didn't fill them out

quite as well as you, though.

Special effects. Hollywood.

Not all me.

Oh, I doubt that very seriously.

Well, then get him enthusiastic,

damn it!

Come on, get up.

How'd it go in there?

We all set now?

Oh, yeah, we're real tight.

Only the finest for you, superstar.

I was just playing.

I ain't gonna forget you, Crewe.

Hey, yo, you owe me money

on that game, punk!

Better watch yourself, Mr. Football!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes