Doing Time on 'The Longest Yard'
- Year:
- 2005
- 12 min
- 71 Views
Hey, sexy.
I love that dress.
Of course you do, Lorenzo.
You made it.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hey, guys.
- There you are.
- Lena.
- You've done it again.
- Well, it's all for you, Bradlee.
Gotta mingle.
Oh, the girls are by the pool.
Well, well, well, Lena. So where's
this sexy boy toy of yours hiding?
I didn't know you were
a football fan, Patrick.
I've never watched a game. I'm just
a big fan of his old underwear ads.
Well, he's probably just getting out of
the shower. Let me go hurry his ass up.
- Hi.
- Hey, babe.
Start of the fourth quarter, and Owens
will throw. He's got Brown wide open!
You have got to be kidding me.
Honey, just let me finish the game,
I'll take you to the movies.
Take me to the movies?
Hello!. There's a huge party
going on downstairs.
Remember the catering trucks
and the valet parkers?
Oh, sh*t, I forgot.
I'll tell you what
Football.
Because it's forgotten all about you.
Now, you're going to put this outfit on
that I bought you,
drag your drunken ass downstairs
and mingle with my clients
like a good boy.
Who am l? Elton John?
I ain't wearing that sh*t.
- Yes, you are.
- I'm not your trained monkey, honey.
No. You're much more
expensive than that.
But I tell you what.
If you're not downstairs
in five minutes,
I'm gonna throw you out of my bed,
out of my house and out of my life.
Then you're gonna have to
pay for your own bananas.
I'm just so mad at you
because you're not wearing my gift.
Gift?
What gift?
It's like a l-love-you gift.
I left it in the closet for you.
Really?
Paul, I'm so excited.
I can't believe you did this.
- Where'd you put it?
- In the back, on the right.
Paul? Paul, what are you doing?
I think we need some
alone time, honey,
so I'm gonna go take a cruise
in your Bentley.
Don't you dare take my car,
you drunken bastard!
- I own you!
- I love you.
Somebody please open
this damn door! Patrick?
- Lena?
- Patrick.
What happened to you?
He locked me in the closet
and left me to die.
Oh, my God, he is deranged!
He thinks he can mess with me.
Oh, man.
Here come the party poopers.
Well, well, well. I'll be damned.
If it isn't Paul Crewe.
So, what did I do wrong?
Was I driving poorly?
Nope. Nope.
This car was reported stolen.
No, no, no.
It's actually my girlfriend's car.
Sh*t happens.
Sh*t does happen. I mean,
look what happened to your ears.
I gotta ask you something.
Does he get XM Radio with those?
Actually, they get
a couple of channels.
It's Paul Crewe.
Another question, though.
Santa Claus. What's he like?
Boy, I hate to arrest a public figure
like yourself,
but, hell, I don't think
you got too many
endorsement deals to worry about,
now, do you?
Now, listen here, Mr. Frodo.
Don't get short with me.
That was good. I mean, he's good.
Man. I hope you got a lot of money
for that game you threw,
because that was the most pathetic
thing I ever saw.
Now, step out of the vehicle,
Mr. Crewe.
Don't you think I should pull the car
over more? I could get sideswiped.
You're slurring your words a bit there,
Paul. You been drinking tonight?
Absolutely not. Now, could you do me a
favor? Hold this beer while I back it up.
Hey, you can finish that one.
I got five more. Take care, guys.
We got a 3-94 in progress.
Okay, remain calm.
How you doing? What's up?
What's up? What's up?
What you are watching is live footage
of a vehicle, apparently stolen,
being pursued by police.
We're receiving word now
that the driver of that vehicle
is former Pittsburgh football star
Paul Crewe.
Crewe, you might remember,
was the only man ever to be indicted
on federal racketeering charges
for shaving points
in a professional football game,
although it was never fully proven.
Yeah!
- Hello.
- Do not get one more scratch
on my car, or I will slit your throat.
See, that's our problem, sweetie.
You care about this car
more than you do us.
And how'd you even know
there was a scratch on this baby?
Because I am watching you on TV,
as is the whole country.
Once again,
you are proving to everyone
what a worthless piece of sh*t
you are.
Well, I hope they like this.
Hey, Lena!
seeing other people!
I think I'm in love.
Good news, boys,
I didn't spill my beer.
Without question, Crewe's five-year
federal probation for point-shaving
has been severely violated tonight.
The future of this once-great football
star looks very dark indeed.
Long way from the big city,
huh, superstar?
Staying with the times
around here, huh?
Ain't she beautiful?
Home sweet home, boy.
Get on your feet.
You're one lucky son of a b*tch,
Crewe.
- Is that right?
- That's right.
See, the warden loves his football.
Fact, he was on the winning side
of your little thing.
- Well, tell him congratulations.
- But I wasn't.
Welcome to Allenville.
Thank you, sergeant.
I'll take it from here.
- Afternoon, inmate Crewe.
- Yeah.
Come on. Warden wants to see you.
Let's do it.
Move it.
I used to play
Down at the University of Miami.
I bet a lot of your old teammates
are locked up in here.
No inmates from my playing days.
Couple of guards, though.
See, we got us a fine
prison-guard league down here.
It's like a company softball team.
Now, the warden...
...he's gonna ask you to help out.
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"Doing Time on 'The Longest Yard'" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/doing_time_on_'the_longest_yard'_12788>.
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