Dogma Page #3
forgiven. Then all we have to do is die...
LOKI:
Wait. wait, wait - Die? I don't want to die.
(chews popcorn)
BARTLEBY:
(steps on conveyor belt)
You'd rather stay down here for a few more eons?
LOKI:
No, but we don't even know if we can die. And what if we can, but this
archway thing doesn't pan out? What then? Hell? F*** that.
(spits out chewed popcorn into napkin)
BARTLEBY:
Impossible. If we cut off our wings and transubstantiate to complete human
form then we become mortal. And if we die with clean souls, there's no way
to keep us out. They have to let us in.
LOKI:
(beat)
Who sent this thing?
BARTLEBY:
I don't know. Somebody who's looking out for us,
I guess. Does it matter? All that matters is that
after all these years, we've found a loophole. He
can't keep us out anymore. And once we're back
in, I'm sure He'll just forgive and forget.
They pass the Nun. who leans against a wall, still dazed.
LOKI:
Yeah, but this plenary' indulgence thing is a church law, not Divine
Mandate. Church laws are fallible because they're created by man.
BARTLEBY:
One of the last sacred promises imparted to Peter the first Pope by the Son
of God before He left was "Whatever you hold true on earth..."
LOKI:
" ...I'll hold true in Heaven."
BARTLEBY:
So if the Pope says it's so, God must adhere. It's dogmatic law.
LOKI:
(beat; extends hand)
Let it never be said that your anal retentive attention to detail never
yielded positive results.
BARTLEBY:
(accepts hand)
You can't be anal retentive if you don't have an anus.
LOKI:
There's just one thing I think I should do before we leave - something
that'Il get us back on His good side.
BARTLEBY:
What's that?
Loki smiles and starts rifling through his pockets. He extracts a magazine
article.
LOKI:
This is something I've been dreaming about for five years now. Read.
The crumpled article displays a Barney-like gold-hued cow, alongside
various profit charts and text.
OC BARTLEBY:
(reading)
"Mooby the Golden Calf- Creating an Empire Out of Simplicity."
Loki wipes his mouth and nods to the article.
LOKI:
I want to hit them.
BARTLEBY:
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"Dogma" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/dogma_230>.
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