Dogma Page #3

Synopsis: Two fallen angels who were ejected from paradise find themselves banned in Wisconsin. They are now headed for New Jersey where they find a loophole that can get them back into heaven. The only catch is that it will destroy humanity. A group bands together to stop them.
Production: Lions Gate
  8 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.3
Metacritic:
62
Rotten Tomatoes:
67%
R
Year:
1999
130 min
Website
1,446 Views


forgiven. Then all we have to do is die...

LOKI:

Wait. wait, wait - Die? I don't want to die.

(chews popcorn)

BARTLEBY:

(steps on conveyor belt)

You'd rather stay down here for a few more eons?

LOKI:

No, but we don't even know if we can die. And what if we can, but this

archway thing doesn't pan out? What then? Hell? F*** that.

(spits out chewed popcorn into napkin)

BARTLEBY:

Impossible. If we cut off our wings and transubstantiate to complete human

form then we become mortal. And if we die with clean souls, there's no way

to keep us out. They have to let us in.

LOKI:

(beat)

Who sent this thing?

BARTLEBY:

I don't know. Somebody who's looking out for us,

I guess. Does it matter? All that matters is that

after all these years, we've found a loophole. He

can't keep us out anymore. And once we're back

in, I'm sure He'll just forgive and forget.

They pass the Nun. who leans against a wall, still dazed.

LOKI:

Yeah, but this plenary' indulgence thing is a church law, not Divine

Mandate. Church laws are fallible because they're created by man.

BARTLEBY:

One of the last sacred promises imparted to Peter the first Pope by the Son

of God before He left was "Whatever you hold true on earth..."

LOKI:

" ...I'll hold true in Heaven."

BARTLEBY:

So if the Pope says it's so, God must adhere. It's dogmatic law.

LOKI:

(beat; extends hand)

Let it never be said that your anal retentive attention to detail never

yielded positive results.

BARTLEBY:

(accepts hand)

You can't be anal retentive if you don't have an anus.

LOKI:

There's just one thing I think I should do before we leave - something

that'Il get us back on His good side.

BARTLEBY:

What's that?

Loki smiles and starts rifling through his pockets. He extracts a magazine

article.

LOKI:

This is something I've been dreaming about for five years now. Read.

The crumpled article displays a Barney-like gold-hued cow, alongside

various profit charts and text.

OC BARTLEBY:

(reading)

"Mooby the Golden Calf- Creating an Empire Out of Simplicity."

Loki wipes his mouth and nods to the article.

LOKI:

I want to hit them.

BARTLEBY:

Rate this script:2.0 / 1 vote

Kevin Smith

Kevin Patrick Smith (born August 2, 1970) is an American filmmaker, actor, comedian, public speaker, comic book writer, author, and podcaster. He came to prominence with the low-budget comedy Clerks (1994), which he wrote, directed, co-produced, and acted in as the character Silent Bob of stoner duo "Jay & Silent Bob". Jay and Silent Bob have appeared in Smith's follow-up films Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back which were mostly all set in his home state of New Jersey. While not strictly sequential, the films frequently featured crossover plot elements, character references, and a shared canon described by fans as the "View Askewniverse", named after his production company View Askew Productions, which he co-founded with Scott Mosier. more…

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Submitted on June 29, 2016

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