Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story Page #3

A benchmark in the fitness community.

Your "gym" is a skid mark

on the underpants of society.

See, Peter, I wasn't born

expecting the world to do me any favours.

I earned this body

and I built this temple

out of nothing more than

a little can-do attitude and elbow grease.

And a large inheritance

from my father, Earl Goodman.

So if I choose to level Average Joe's to build

a parking structure for my members, so be it.

There's nothing you can do about it.

In 30 days, I'll be bulldozing that sh*t-heap

you call a gym into permanent nothingness.

I can only hope that you, and the mongrel

race that comprise your membership,

are inside it when I do.

Show Mr La Fleur out.

Turn it up high, Reggie.

I wanna burn.

So that's the deal. We got 30 days

to raise $50,000, or Average Joe's is history.

I got ten minutes. I'll open it up to some Q&A.

No need to raise your hands,

it's an open forum. OK, Owen, kick us off.

Yes, Peter, - and I'm just spitballing here -

but why don't we pay it off

in Canadian dollars and save some money?

Just so you know, if that's a route

you want to follow, it's 50,000 American.

It would be 70,000, roughly, Canadian dollars.

- How are we gonna come up with $120,000?

- Owen, you don't add them together.

Technically, Peter, I'm sorry to say this,

but it's more like $73,313...

It doesn't matter. We can't come up

with $50,000. We're screwed.

Gar.

- It's an insurmountable amount of money.

- No, it's not insurmountable. Come on.

We can'tjust sit back

and let Globo Gym take us over.

Average Joe's is too important.

Where do you go

when your wife changes the locks?

- Average Joe's.

- Right.

Dwight, Owen, what will you do

if Joe's goes under? Work at the airport?

- I ain't working at no airport again.

- No. Cos you hated it.

And, Steve, where do you go

to do whatever it is that you do?

- Gar. Joe's be the only place for Steve.

- Gar. You're right.

Do you see? There's no way I can go

back to working out at my high school.

They'd laugh at me there.

Lock me in lockers, make me eat clay.

But not here, not at Joe's.

I need this place.

You guys need this place. Come on.

I got it. I know how we can raise the money.

- How?

- Car wash.

What are the chances?

Same day, right across the street?

The girls beat us fair and square.

I am gonna be a gentleman about it and

congratulate every one of them, personally.

Guys. Not to be a nay-sayer or anything,

but the only customer we've had

is that weird guy

who keeps paying Justin to wash his truck.

That's it, boy.

Get in there nice and deep, like.

- That's not good.

- Gar. This sucks.

Relax, Justin, it's just a cutout.

At Globo Gym,

we're better than you and we know it.

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