Dirty Movie Page #3

Synopsis: An outrageous cut-rate producer, Charlie LaRue (Christopher Meloni) is about to fulfill his lifelong dream to make a movie about the most offensive, dirtiest jokes ever told. As Charlie and his filmmaking team hilariously struggle to write a script and assemble their award-winning cast, the movie-within-a-movie emerges with one dirty joke after another. Only one can take the crown for writing the dirtiest joke ever told and Charlie will do whatever he can to be that king.
Genre: Comedy
Production: Lionsgate
 
IMDB:
3.0
R
Year:
2011
91 min
7,120 Views


N-34.

What's that?

- God damn it, stupid f***ing-

- I made a stinky.

My God.

- G-51.

- Bingo.

You cocksucker.

I f***ed your mother!

Yes, you did.

Take your medication, Dad, huh?

- May I have your attention, please?

- Bingo.

Right.

- I want my 45 back, you motherf***er.

- Ladies and gentlemen.

Bingo.

- Can I have your attention?

- That's bullshit.

Can I- can I have your attention?

Mmm?

It is my pleasure

to tell you about our new venture

in feature filmmaking.

We're going to make a movie

that is going to take this company

right back to its roots.

You're on.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

And first off,

may I say what an honor-

Uh, now this feature

that I am proposing

- is a film made up...

- Help me.

...entirely of jokes.

What's the story?

Good question.

There is no story.

Its jokes acted out.

Just jokes?

You mean, like knock-knock jokes?

Not exactly. These jokes are

gonna be a little edgier.

Like the chicken-crossed-the-road jokes.

Yes and no.

A little more "no" than that but-

Well, I think there ought

to be whore jokes.

What's the difference between

an onion and a dead whore?

I cried when

I cut up the onion.

- Okay.

- Very good, Eleanor.

Why was there

4000 Mexicans at the Alamo?

They only had three cars.

What's the difference

between a homo

and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator don't fart

when you pull out the meat.

- That it?

- I think we're done here.

Im so gonna lose my license.

Why is that?

I f***ed three of my patients.

Oh, who cares?

My brother is a doctor.

He sleeps with patients all the time.

Yeah, but is he a veterinarian?

Hey, birthday boy.

Your friends hired me

to come over here

and give you some

hot super sex.

Ill take the soup.

What's the difference

between a priest

and acne?

Acne doesn't come

on your face till you're 12.

F*** you, freak!

Oh hey, cheap trick.

I told you, keep that on the corner.

Don't bring it in here.

All I want is a drink.

What the hell?

Its a slow night anyway.

Tell me about it.

You can pay for this?

Why don't you take it out of this?

Got anything smaller?

Excuse me,

Im looking for a big-time

Hollywood producer.

Morty, my main man!

Get over here, you big sh*t.

Come on, hug.

A big big hug.

That's a hug,

all right. Let go.

- How are you doing, bubi?

- Oh, can't complain.

You know, getting settled in,

a little tight.

Hey, no worries.

Wait a minute,

you did something.

There's something different.

What did you do?

I don't know.

What did I do?

Oh wow, that's some

beautiful work.

- $89.99.

- That's a great deal.

Yeah, he owed me.

Have a seat.

Yeah.

So they went for it, huh?

Yeah, shimmy in just a bit.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote

Alan Donnes

Alan Donnes was a writer, filmmaker, comic and author. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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