Dick Figures: The Movie

Synopsis: Two best friends, Red and Blue, risk everything to find the greatest treasure of all time.
Director(s): Zack Keller, Ed Skudder
Production: Mondo Media
73 min

- Can't let precious

foods go to waste.

- Dude, you know that's

all expired?

- I don't care!

- Oh, god.

Not the milk!

- I'll keep you safe in

my belly, cow juice.


I think I'm gonna vom.

- Hey, listen.

I, I got a big problem.

I totally just lied to Pink.

- Ahh.

- Her birthday's next week and

I told her I got her the

greatest gift of all time, but

I didn't get her anything!

- Give her this mayonnaise jar.


- No.

Come on.

You know what girls

like, right?

What should I get her?

- Hey, you should go

see the raccoon--

- See who?

- The vac--

- What are you trying to say?

- I can only say so many

words before I--

- The raccoon!

- Oh.

- He's got the coolest stuff.

- Yesh!

I don't know if I should

get my girlfriend a

gift in the pawn shop.

- You should get her

this cool hat!

- Yeah, try it on.

- So, you want a

gift for your girlfriend, hey?

- Whoa.

How'd you know?

- You

talk very loud.

Fits perfect!

- Did you touch

that fucking bear trap?

- No.


- Um.

So me and my girlfriend have

been dating a long time and I

want to get her something

super romantic.

- I've got the

perfect gift for you.

But first, a story.


- People stories.

- A long time ago

in ancient Japan my country

was at war.

My small village was

all that was left.

Knowing I may die in battle,

I gave my wife a symbol of

undying love, a lotus ower.

Armed with the weapon of my

ancestors, the Great Sword of

Destiny, I'd have to

confront my fate.

But the mighty beast, Ocho

Muerto, emerged from the sea

and took my wife.

I was too late.

In my rage, I fought the

Tachigami Demon Army and slew

ten hundred thousand

hundred warriors.

Honorably, all that remain was

Armor Tachigami himself.

Though he shattered the bread

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Dick Figures: The Movie" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 15 Jul 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/dick_figures%3A_the_movie_6887>.

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