Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul Page #5

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After your little "I Confess" stunt today,

this is my chance to even the score.

Maybe Mom and Dad will even give me

the money to get my van fixed.

W-w-wait.

If you need money,

I have a better way to get you some.

To get a lot.

Come with me to Player Expo.

There are hot girls everywhere.

Why is she wearing armor with a bikini?

It's called cosplay. And there's a lot of it.

RODRICK:
Are those even real?

I doubt it. People make

their weapons out of foam and stuff.

But the best part is, there's a

video game drummer competition

just like Rock Band,

and I think the prize is about $1,000.

$1,000?

I'd be able to buy ten vans with that.

But now you're telling Mom.

I guess there's no way I'm going.

If I say we're going, we're going.

You get that, chico?

Oh!

What are you doing?

This isn't what it looks like.

Are you doing work?

Okay, it is what it looks like.

Look, I couldn't tell my boss

I was taking the week off.

You get that, right?

Yeah, I totally get that.

But if Mom found out, she'd go ballistic.

I know. That's why you and I need to...

Did you take your phone from the van?

No.

Greg. If Mom found out, she'd go ballistic.

Okay, okay. I'll put it back.

I won't tell Mom I saw anything. I promise.

The thing is, I want Mom to be happy.

I'm sure you don't want

to disappoint her, do you?

Definitely not.

What do you say we keep this

little arrangement between us guys?

What Mom doesn't know won't hurt her, right?

Sure.

Good boy.

Are you orange?

Yep.

- (SNORING)

- (SCOFFS)

Where am I supposed to sleep?

(LOUD CLATTERING)

(LOUD CLATTERING CONTINUES)

(KIDS LAUGHING)

What are you doing?

Some people are trying to sleep!

Put some pants on, creep!

(LAUGHING)

Oh, you guys think that's funny.

Well, you won't be laughing

when I report you to the manager

and he throws you and your

whole Beardo family out!

Oh, yeah?

What is going on out here?

(LOUD SLAM)

(BEARDO GASPS)

My van!

(YELLS)

Why did you do that?

Me?

This weirdo shows up in his underpants

and when we ask him to put some clothes on,

he threatens to beat us up!

What?

I... No, no, no. That's not true!

And he called you a "fat Beardo!"

(GROWLS)

Come here, punk!

Dad! Dad! Help!

- Hey!

- Huh?

Is that your kid?

What kid?

Inside!

BEARDO:
I know you're out there, kid!

I tracked down original floor mats

to a vintage camper, son!

I will find you!

(SIGHS)

(GROANS)

Why do I have to sleep in the closet?

Come on. Move over.

(SQUEAKING)

(SCREAMING)

What are you doing in my room?

Where were you?

I just went for a quick jog.

In your underwear?

I like the fresh air.

Okay.

Honey, that's not a good idea.

What's with all the standing around?

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