Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul Page #4

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(STOMACH RUMBLING)

I agree with Greg's stomach. We need to eat.

GREG:
If you wake Manny up

in the middle of a nap,

he goes completely ballistic

and there's no calming him down.

So when he's asleep,

Mom and Dad do everything they can

to keep him that way.

DAD:
Okay guys, ready?

(SIGHS)

(HORN HONKING)

- Whoa!

- (CAR HORN BLARING)

Greg, be more careful!

You almost woke up Manny.

Get the items on my list

and only the items on my list!

List, got it.

Whole-wheat bagel, cream cheese,

- baloney and apples?

- Yeah, you know, we should split up.

Divide and clunker.

Hey!

(SIGHS)

Did you get anything on Mom's list?

Relax, Greggy. I got better stuff.

# So let's sing this one more time #

# It goes, destination, permanent vacation #

Free Wi-fi. Perfect.

# Na-na, na-na na na #

- GREG:
Hey, want to check out the pool?

- RODRICK:
Sweet!

# Destination, permanent vacation #

GREG:
Huh?

(RATS SQUEAKING)

What a rip-off!

They should be sued for false advertising!

At least there's a hot tub.

But look at those weirdos.

(SHOUTING PLAYFULLY, LAUGHING)

Or should that be Beardos?

(MOCKINGLY) Good one.

(ROARING AND SPLASHING)

(WHISPERING) Frank,

this place is disgusting!

Ah, it's not so bad.

- (TOILET FLUSHES)

- It's just for one night.

These towels are wetter than my hands.

(CRUNCH)

Mom!

(GROANS)

Nobody uses the bathroom.

We'll clean up at the next stop.

Let's eat.

Yeah.

What were you two thinking?

We can't make dinner out of

uncooked cinnamon rolls

and bubblegum.

No, duh.

They're for dessert.

I got us a microwave pizza.

(BEEPING)

- (GEARS WHIRRING)

- (BEEPING)

Rodrick?

That's a mini-safe.

(SAFE RATTLING)

RODRICK:
Huh.

And they disguised it as a microwave.

Pretty smart.

(GROANS)

Did you guys get anything on my list?

I couldn't read your curly

Oldie English writing.

Do you mean cursive?

Cursive?

Is it okay if I go use the hot tub?

Yeah, sure, just don't wake Manny

when you come back in.

- DAD:
I am so hungry.

- MOM:
Me, too.

"Grandparents React to Diaper Hands!"?

GREG (ON VIDEO):
Diaper! It's a diaper,

it's a diaper, it's a diaper!

RODRICK:
Hey, Cheez Nips.

What are you doing here?

I thought I'd join you,

in case any hot chicks

who dig musicians show up.

(GREG SIGHS CONTENTEDLY)

(SIGHS)

(CELL PHONE DINGS)

You got your phone from the van?

- (CELL PHONE DINGS)

- (LAUGHS)

It's from Rowley.

"Have fun at Player Expo. Zoo-Wee-Mama."

Pfft! What a dork.

Player Expo?

You're planning to go

to your little nerd convention.

Oh, this is too good. I'm telling Mom.

No, Rodrick, give that back!

(WATER GURGLING)

(SCREAMING)

(LAUGHING)

What?

- Oh, no.

- Oompa-Loompa.

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