Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul Page #3

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# Are you with it girl? #

# I'm free to do what I want #

# And have a good time #

# Now somebody, anybody, everybody #

# 'Cause I'm free to do what I want #

# And have a good time #

# Now somebody, anybody, everybody sing #

# Went from a poor kid #

# To a well-known all around the globe... #

The two of you are in

so much trouble right now!

You should not be doing that sort of thing.

# Feel free, do whatever you want #

# Whenever you want with whoever you want #

# Feel free, who cares what they say... #

(CELL PHONE DINGS)

- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)

- (CELL PHONE DINGS)

Can we have our phones back yet?

Nope. The bag is closed.

- Well, when is the bag going to open?

- It's not.

Well, when is the bag not going to not open?

Okay, okay, I have something fun

to pass the time.

Who has a guilty conscience?

It's a simple game.

Someone takes a card from the deck

and reads it aloud.

If you've done the thing on the card,

you get a point.

So, the first person to three points wins.

"I must confess...

I once owned an unusual pet."

- I had a pet tarantula in college.

- No way.

Yeah! His name was Terry Antula

and he was awesome.

One point.

"I must confess

I once had a crazy hairstyle."

Guilty! I dyed my hair pink

when I was younger for a summer.

When did you guys stop being fun?

Well, your dad and I were young

once, too, you know.

Can I read the next one?

Yes.

"I must confess...

"I once broke a window by shooting a BB gun

and blamed my little brother for it."

Yes. I totally did that.

I'm tied with Mom and Dad. Read another one.

MOM:
My turn.

"I must confess I once drove my mom's car

when I didn't have a license

and scratched the door very badly."

I did that, too! Boom. One more point.

That's plus one. Plus another point.

"I must confess...

"I once toilet papered the house

of the sweet old lady

who lived next door to me."

Yes!

Guilty as charged!

It's like this game was made for me!

I own you losers!

(CHUCKLING)

Oh, yeah, I win. I won.

Now I get my van fixed, right?

I'm very sorry for toilet papering

your house, ma'am.

It was a very bad thing,

and I would be honored to...

...mow your lawn and clean your car

for the rest of summer to make amends.

Okay, thank you. Bye, now.

You are so dead.

(MANNY SHOUTING AND WHINING)

Where's Manny's pacifier?

I left it at home.

You did what?

I made an executive decision not to bring it.

He's way too old for one.

You know, this trip is a perfect

opportunity for him

to go cold turkey, you know?

(MANNY CONTINUES WHINING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

It was all they had.

Rodrick, I said no phones.

I want to post it online. It's hilarious.

No!

No Instagrammy, no Snappychat!

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