Devour

Miss, you okay?

I can't remember when I had my first

waking nightmare.

They're too disturbing to call daydreams.

I never talked about them with anyone.

They never made any sense to me...

then I found the Pathway.

Now they're all clear, every one of them.

Breakfast of champions.

When was the last time you slept?

I'm happy I can stand, man.

I'm on a three-day rage.

Your father will kick your ass

if you flunk anything.

Since when did he need an excuse

to do that?

At least you're out of the house.

Hey, I'd trade places with you any day.

- What up, Jake?

- Darius.

What's up?

So you playing ball next year?

- I don't know, man.

- Get with it.

That's what you said last term, dawg.

Man, the guys around the gym,

they tell me you're the real deal.

- What are you staring at?

- It ain't your truck, homey.

- Easy.

- What's he got there, Jake?

- Nothing, man.

- Bullshit.

Let it go.

- Just keep your dog on a leash.

- All right.

What the f*** were you gonna do,

shoot him?

Chill. It only told me to scare him.

"It"? What is "it"?

Just give me back the piece.

No, man, no. Are you crazy?

What, do you want to get arrested?

Where did you get this?

Later.

Happy birthday.

Joseph Campbell believed

that the power of myth...

related to certain intrinsic universal values

found in all cultures:

The need to worship God,

to protect the family...

to coexist in harmony with nature.

Now, from these very ideas

stories were created...

and passed down

from one generation to another...

each having its own central hero character.

Want to see what you missed?

If I wanted to see it,

I wouldn't have missed it.

Campbell termed this ennobled path...

- Just trying to be helpful.

- What a shame.

I thought you wanted to get in my pants.

It is my birthday.

Works for me.

But little more than the stories

we grow up hearing...

and the tradition of telling them...

is what binds together

even the most disparate of societies.

Happy birthday, handsome.

- How does it feel to be 21?

- Like I'm on the verge of nothing.

Mr. Gray, am I interrupting a celebration?

Sorry, Prof. Hartney.

Tell me, Dakota, what are we to make

of this Dionysian offering?

Mimosas.

All right. That's enough for today.

Thank you.

- So we drinking this tonight?

- We'll be doing a lot more than that.

Dakota.

In my office in 30 minutes.

Get me out of this town.

You must be Jake.

Yeah. How did you know that?

Hey, Jake, this lady needs help

with her laptop, okay?

Okay. What's the problem?

It just stopped working.

They do that.

Okay, let's see.

- That's what it looks like in there.

- What did you expect?

Lots of little guys running around

doing my errands for me.

Okay.

You've got some red wax.

Wax. My tarot cards.

- Sorry?

- I burn candles when I read tarot, so...

They help you see into the future, right?

Yeah, and the past.

Okay.

It works.

- What do I owe you?

- No charge.

- Really?

- Yeah.

That's so nice. Thank you.

Jake.

You could have got $75 for that job.

- It was a piece of wax.

- Yeah?

Well, I'm docking your salary.

What the hell for?

Because your time is my money.

And please, watch your f***ing language.

Aren't you going to blow it out?

Are you going to sing me "Happy Birthday"?

I stopped singing the day

they kicked me out of the church choir.

Did you go see your mother?

No. She wasn't feeling well today,

so I'll go see her tomorrow.

How are things going at the mill?

Still got a job.

They'd have to close the place down

if they got rid of you.

Thanks.

You going out tonight

with Conrad and Dakota?

I'm legal.

They look up to you, Jake.

But they're still caught in the rain.

What does that mean?

Don't get wet.

Ludes? X? What's your poison, lover boy?

- Are you peaking or crying?

- I've had better days, Jake.

- So what happened?

- Hartney hit on me again.

- What did he say?

- F*** or fail.

That's got a nice ring to it.

Well, I ran out of the office.

I bought myself a few days.

Why don't you report him?

He does this all the time.

- Dean Glick won't do anything.

- Why not?

I'll give you one guess.

Come on, huh?

Sh*t.

F***. I'll f***ing nail both of you, man?

- I didn't call for back up.

- You're welcome.

So, Valerie Gaines, behind the gym...

senior prom.

You guys thought that we were

powdering our noses.

Her nose was up my skirt.

Man!

Jake, what's our zip code?

Had you heard that one?

Personally, I found it depressing.

That's just because you weren't there.

Exactly. What year were you born?

Same as you, dumb-ass.

So what's your weirdest family holiday?

F*** that. We'll be here all night.

What was your weirdest family holiday?

Thanksgiving, a couple years ago.

I was building a ramp

for my mom's wheelchair...

and Father Moore came by to visit.

They were all inside watching football,

Dallas-Tampa game. Dallas lost.

That was your weirdest family holiday?

So I had a hammer in my hand...

and I look up

and Father Moore was smiling at me...

and all I could think about

is just bashing his head in.

Over and over,

and then I'd smash my parents' heads in.

Then, like, half the people I knew, just...

So then I started thinking,

what else would I like to do?

And all this crazy sh*t came into my head.

So then what happened?

I finished the ramp, and we ate turkey.

Dude, that's sick even for me.

Dude, I've castrated my dad

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